


Learn to love yourself

by AnikaFanGirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Bisexual Harry Potter, Child Abuse, Gay Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Hurt Harry Potter, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:48:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 24,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26256673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnikaFanGirl/pseuds/AnikaFanGirl
Summary: His first night in his dorm, he didn’t cry himself to sleep. This was the first time that he can remember that he felt actually happy.  The second night, he did, and someone heard him. Ron. This boy he was instant friends with, and he didn’t know he had heard him quietly sniffing.————————————————————Slowly, as Harry figured out who he was to the wizarding world, he found out why he kept hearing his name in the halls. His first month went smoothly, or at least as smoothly as is seemed possible for “The Chosen One.”————————————————————Soon, though Ron brought up his nightly tears. “Hey, I really don’t want to bring this up, but what’s goin’ on? Every night I can hear you crying, and I wanna help, so what’s up?”
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 8
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic! This is going to be slow moving I think, I’m going to post as often as possible.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His first night in his dorm, he didn’t cry himself to sleep. This was the first time that he can remember that he felt actually happy. The second night, he did, and someone heard him. Ron. This boy he was instant friends with, and he didn’t know he had heard him quietly sniffing.  
> ————————————————————  
> Slowly, as Harry figured out who he was to the wizarding world, he found out why he kept hearing his name in the halls. His first month went smoothly, or at least as smoothly as is seemed possible for “The Chosen One.”  
> ————————————————————  
> Soon, though Ron brought up his nightly tears. “Hey, I really don’t want to bring this up, but what’s goin’ on? Every night I can hear you crying, and I wanna help, so what’s up?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic! This is going to be slow moving I think, I’m going to post as often as possible.

Harry  
Harry got his letter. After the Dursley’s shenanigans trying to keep it away from him, he finally figured out why he always felt he was different.  
————————————————————  
His first night in his dorm, he didn’t cry himself to sleep. This was the first time that he can remember that he felt actually happy. The second night, he did, and someone heard him. Ron. This boy he was instant friends with, and he didn’t know he had heard him quietly sniffing.  
————————————————————  
Slowly, as Harry figured out who he was to the wizarding world, he found out why he kept hearing his name in the halls. His first month went smoothly, or at least as smoothly as is seemed possible for “The Chosen One.”  
————————————————————  
Soon, though Ron brought up his nightly tears. “Hey, I really don’t want to bring this up, but what’s goin’ on? Every night I can hear you crying, and I wanna help, so what’s up?” Harry froze, his quill stopping it’s scratching. He took a deep shaky breath and said, “I’ll tell you, but not here. Grab Hermione and meet me by the lake. I don’t want to have to say this stuff more than once, and I need a minute.”  
————————————————————  
Ron  
Quickly shoving his stuff in his bag he saw Harry do the same. He saw Harry head towards the dorms and he said “Throw my stuff on my bed while you are up there won’t you?” Turning, Harry nodded and took the bag. As Harry disappeared, Ron looked around the common room and found Hermione in a chair across the room doing some “light reading.”  
He walked over to her, and in a hushed whisper said, “Harry has been crying himself to sleep since the beginning of the year. I brought it up just now and he said to grab you and meet down by the lake. I think he has something to tell us.”  
————————————————————  
Harry  
Harry laid out the blanket he grabbed on the grass near the lake and sat with his chin on his knees. It was a very nice day, with the sun shining but it wasn’t too hot. He heard running footsteps approaching but didn’t turn.  
When he saw in his peripherals Ron sit on one side and Hermione on the other, he said, “I assume you told her why I wanted to talk?”  
When Ron confirmed this he said, “First, I want you both to promise me you won’t do anything rash.” Hermione said quietly “I won’t unless there is anybody getting physically hurt.” “Same here mate” Ron assured.  
Harry shifted so he was sitting cross-legged facing his only friends. Taking a deep breath, he started talking. “I grew up with muggles. My aunt and uncle, they don’t like me, never have. I grew up not knowing I was a wizard.”  
His voice was barely above a whisper, and cracking at this point. He took a deep breath and continued.  
“They knew. I was told that they died in a car crash, and that’s how I got my scar. A lot of house work was dumped upon me, as long as I can remember. I cooked, cleaned, and was never allowed out of my room when people were over.”  
He was fighting back tears now. Hermione, as always, was one step ahead, and pulled a tissue out and silently handed to him. He paused, and both of his best mates tried to hug him at once. As they leaned in, they bumped shoulders - hard. They at the same time said “ow” and rubbed their shoulders. They tried again and succeeded. Harry pulled back and croaked out a “thanks.”  
He then sniffled and said in a shaking voice, “For as long as can remember until about two years ago, my room was the cupboard under the stairs. My cousin, Dudley has also always bullied me. The bedroom I have now, used to be his second bedroom that all of his toys, his old tv and stuff like that went.”  
As he stopped speaking, silence came.  
Ron broke the silence saying, “I’m so sorry mate. I would have never thought that the savior of the wizarding world grew up in a abusive household.” Hermione, who had been silent up until then almost whispered, “so that’s why when we met you, you were so skinny. And also why you always eat like you have never seen food, and like you will never see it again, they didn’t feed you.” He just nodded, saying “I almost always am in a bad mood. That first day of school was the first day In as long as I can remember that I felt truly happy. I have spent so many days waking up and putting on a mask, that I don’t even think about it anymore.”  
————————————————————  
Hermione  
She was on the verge of tears. What can she do? “I’m going to talk to professor McGonagall. We are going to get you out of there.” She heard Harry start to protest, and pointed out, “this is not ok, we are going to do something.”  
She stood up saying, “Ron, give him a hug. I’m going to go talk to her.” She turned and rushed up to the castle. As she ran up the stairs to the professors office the thought about what to say. She never spoke without thinking it through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I would love constructive criticism! I hope you stick around! This was a little shorter than I thought, but hopefully most chapters will be longer!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermione talks to professor McGonagall and some cheering up of the Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, chapter two! Enjoy!

Hermione  
She stepped in to the office. As she walked in she took a deep breath before saying, “I’m worried about Harry. He just told Ron and I about his home. It’s abusive.”  
“Have a seat,” McGonagall said, gesturing to the empty seat across from her desk. “I have a feeling this is going to take awhile.”  
From here she told McGonagall everything she had just heard from Harry.  
As Hermione talked, McGonagall listened. When she was finished, McGonagall said slowly, “I’m afraid that we can’t do much. Most of what you just told me, I already know. So does Dumbledore. We did not know the full extent of it however. The most we can do is at the end of the year, we can talk to the Dursley’s. In the meantime, we can try to set him up with a mind healer and a support system.”  
Letting out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding, she said “Thank you, professor. Is there anything else?” Briskly the professor said, “Not immediately. Right now, I think you should go and make sure Mr. Potter isn’t having a panic attack after you ran away.” “Ok,” she responded.  
As she stood and left she realized she didn’t know where the boys were. She decided to go to the front steps and check if the boys were still at the lake, even if it was a pretty big detour in the huge castle.  
When she reached the steps she saw the boys on their way back to the castle. She stood there, waiting for them. Harry still had silent tears running down his face.  
————————————————————  
Harry  
He glanced up, and saw Hermione staring thoughtfully down at them from the front steps. As they reached the top of the stairs, Hermione set a hand on his shoulder and said, “We are going to fix this. But, for now, we are going to go back to the common room and relax. Ron, I want you to go to the kitchens and get us hot chocolate. Meet us in front of the fire.”  
As she led Harry up the stairs, she pulled him into an unused classroom. Pulling a tissue from her bag, she wiped his tears away. After this, she conjured a cool, damp cloth and gently ran it over his face. Satisfied, she said, “Now no one can tell you were crying.”  
He realized he had said nothing to her since she had left earlier, he quietly said, “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.” She smiled and said, “You would fail all your classes, and continue to be a depressed. For now though, let’s not think about that. We are all going to take this evening off.”  
As they left the classroom and headed up to Gryffindor tower, he started thinking. What all had Hermione told professor McGonagall? What would the professor do? Would he go back to the Dursley’s?  
His train of thought was interrupted when they reached the common room. Hermione said the password (caput draconis) and they went in. Hermione grabbed him by the arm and dragged him over to in front of the fire. He slowly sat down in front of the fire. Quietly he said to Hermione, “You do realize that I would rather not sit in front of all of Gryffindor on the verge of tears?” To this she replied, “Yes. I know that you would hate to cry in front of other people. That’s why we are sitting here, so you doubt cry. Plus, I always have found that watching a fire is soothing.” He slowly smiled faintly. “Ironic, that something so ferocious and wild can be so soothing.”  
At this, Ron walked over. He sat down and said, “Well did Hermione cheer you up mate?” Responding, Harry said, “A little,” as Ron handed him and Hermione each a hot chocolate.  
After sitting in silence for a good twenty minutes, Hermione finally broke the silence. “Harry, cheer up. It will get better. Right now, you don’t even have to think about them.” Harry responded, “I do think about them every day. Malfoy wouldn’t bother be at all if it weren’t for the fact of him reminding me of Dudley. Sighing, Hermione stood up with a “I’ll be right back.” As soon as she left Ron spoke up. “She’s right mate. Blimey, she’s always right. Cheer up!”  
Returning, Hermione said “everyone third year and down is welcome to play a game. I’m haven’t decided what game yet, but I am going to cheer you up.” Just then he realized about a quarter of the people in the common room were getting up and sauntering over. (Mind you, a quarter was a good twenty people, mostly from there grade, but Fred and George were there too.)  
“Okay everyone listen up!” declared Hermione. “Every one work together to make a circle in front of the fire.” Looking around, he realized people were following the directions. He stood up and walked over to where one edge of the circle was forming and sat down. How bad could it be?  
Sitting on one side of him was Hermione and on the other, Neville. Next to Hermione was Ron and next to Neville was Fred. Some of the faces in the circle were familiar, like Fred, George, lavender, Dean, Seamus, and Parvati, but there were about fifteen others he did not know.  
After everyone was sitting Hermione said, “We are all going to play a game.” “What game?” Asked the twins. “I don’t know yet.” Hermione said, “We are going to vote. What are our nominations?” Truth or dare, seven minutes in heaven and never have I ever were the top three nominations. After voting they decided on never have I ever, and the person who did the least amount of things had to scream who their crush was tomorrow morning in the great hall.  
————————————————————  
In the end, Fred and George ended up yelling Angelina Johnson and Katie Bell respectively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I think I am going to go for shorter chapters more often, rather than longer ones, partially because I know that I will forget to write... on that note, I will trust you guys to hold me responsible- here’s an Instagram just for you guys to remind me! @anikafangirl_ Thanks for reading, (plus I would love you forever if you left kudos or commented...) and bye for now!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> McGonagall has a conversation with Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it’s a long one! Enjoy!

Harry  
That morning, they had double charms then double transfiguration. As he woke up, he thought about the day before.   
He had told Hermione and Ron about his “family,” but he hadn’t told them about himself. He hadn’t told them that he had been depressed for years, and that he hated himself for all of it. He knew it wasn’t his fault, but he just kept thinking, I could have done better.   
Getting up, he woke Ron up and threw on his robes. In the common room he saw Hermione and they walked to breakfast together. Sitting, he quietly asked Hermione, “What did McGonagall say yesterday?” She responded, saying, “She said that they couldn’t do much, but they can talk to your aunt and uncle, along with trying to get you a mind healer.”  
Thinking about this, his first question was, “Is a mind healer like a muggle counselor?” Answering, Hermione said “Yes.” Ron, (being Ron) said, “What’s a counselor?” Rolling their eyes, the two raised with muggles shared a look. Explaining, Hermione said, “They are like a mind healer, but from the Muggle world.”  
Just then, Fred and George stood up on the other end of the table and yelled, Fred first. “Angelina Johnson, I like you! Do you wanna go out with me?” Following quick in succession, George yelled, “Katie Bell, I like you! Do you wanna go out with me?” Jumping down from the table, they headed over to their respective girls, presumably to talk to them.   
After they got down, the room that had become silent when they had started yelling immediately burst out laughing and talking. The rest of breakfast passed by unremarkably.   
Getting up, he, Ron and Hermione grabbed their books and headed to charms. Charms was pretty boring, with only Hermione really listening to Professor Flitwick drone on. The most interesting part of class was when Seamus somehow set his feather on fire, though what they were trying to do was levitate it.   
After class, when Ron was still complaining about how he couldn’t do it, but Hermione got it on her first try, they headed to transfiguration. In the hall, he got lost in his thoughts. What would a mind healer be like? Would Dumbledore or McGonagall be talking to the Dursley’s? Would it make a difference? Would the ministry get involved?  
Knocked out of his thoughts, Malfoy tripped him and sneered, “Looks like someone is distracted. Fancy telling us what you’re thinking about?” “No.” He said, “You wouldn’t find it interesting anyway.”   
They reached the classroom and filed in. Starting class, the professor collected the essays they had for homework, and had them turning rats into water goblets. Ron at least had a fuzzy goblet with a tail. Hermione’s, of course was perfect. He couldn’t focus, therefore his was still very much a rat.   
Just as the bell rung freeing them, McGonagall called, “Mister Potter and Mister Malfoy, I would like to speak with you.” As the rest of the class left, Hermione said quickly, “I would wait outside for you, but Ron is surely going to run off to lunch, I’ll stay with him, he still gets lost.” Smiling, she rolled her eyes and left, leaving him alone.   
“Mister Malfoy, I just wanted to inform you that the few essays of yours you have actually turned in, were quite amazing. I’m sure I would enjoy them even more, if you chose to turn more of them in. If you don’t, I’m afraid I will have to give you detention.” the witch said. Continuing, she said, “You may be dismissed. As for you Potter, have a seat.”   
As he slowly sat and as Malfoy exited, she said, “Miss Granger informed me of how the Dursley’s treat you yesterday. I wanted to know if you feel comfortable sharing all of your feeling with her and Mister Weasley, and it’s completely ok if you aren’t.” Responding, he said slowly, “I have never met someone who I am completely comfortable sharing my feelings with, especially some of my deeper feelings. Those two are the closest I have ever had to family.” With that McGonagall responded, “Well, then I believe that you need a mind healer. Even if you don’t believe that you need one, abuse can do a lot of damage that isn’t visible from the outside.” All he said in response is “Ok. As long as it doesn’t interfere with quidditch.” Sighing the professor said, “Thank you. When you see Miss Granger will you tell her that I want to see her after classes today. Other than that, you may go.”  
As he opened the door Malfoy sprung away from it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to post the next one right away, because I’m so sorry for the huge cliffhanger!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry’s mind likes to spiral...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here you go before you get too crazy after that cliffhanger!

As he opened the door Malfoy sprung away from it.   
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he said in a carefully quite voice, “How much did you hear?” Quietly Malfoy responded, “All of it.“ As soon as this came out of his mouth he started, “I promise I won’t tell anyone, I-I-I...” In a very small voice he said, “Will you leave me alone if I tell you something about my childhood?” Inhaling sharply, he gave a quick nod, then they would each have a weapon against the other, and if they used their own, the other would use theirs against the other, it wouldn’t be worth the risk, they would be even.   
In a shaky voice Malfoy said, “Whatever I did my father would find the wrong in it, he beat me every day.” All he said in response was “Even.”  
Walking away he wanted to go to his bed, and cry for the rest of the day, but instead he forced himself to go to lunch. He sat down next to Hermione and quietly gave her the message from McGonagall. She quietly nodded, and he gave a pathetic excuse to leave.   
As soon as he was out of the great hall, he sprinted up the stairs to Gryffindor tower. He slowed when he reached the portrait, pausing to give the fat lady the password. When she swung open, he quickly headed up to his dorm room. Walking in he flopped onto his bed, and as soon as he touched it, started crying.   
He hated talking about when he was a kid. And how on earth had McGonagall seemed to be able to read him so well? And then there was Malfoy! He was surprised at what Malfoy had suggested, but it made a lot of sense... and, that information... Malfoy’s after beat him? That didn’t seem like how he would act, with seeing how much from the outside it seemed like his father loved him.   
As his mind started spiraling out, he slowly drifted in to an uneasy sleep. With his mind still going crazy, he had nightmares, back to being trapped in that closet, starving, scared, the times when he had beef beaten with Uncle Vernons belt, or when Dudley would beat him to a pulp. Or Malfoy spilling to the papers, the whole world knowing about where he lived.   
————————————————————  
He was woken abruptly, in a cold sweat. Both Ron and Hermione were looking worriedly down at him. Groaning he sat up. Hermione immediately went off.  
“What on earth! You missed all of your classes, and dinner! We were so worried about you! We looked everywhere before Ron thought to look in your room! What on earth made you run from everybody and fall asleep! We have classes!”  
Finally he said, “I’m sorry. McGonagall wanted to talk to me about the Dursley’s, after she told Malfoy off for not doing his homework. He listened at the door. He heard everything. He told me something about when he was a kid so we were even.”   
Looking mortified, Hermione said, “Oh, Harry, I’m so sorry!” Ron piped up, saying, “Yeah, we’re so sorry mate. I wish we would have waited for you, then Malfoy couldn’t have listened.” Sighing Harry said, “No, it’s ok. Nothing can be done about it now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... that happened!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mind healer is set up and the golden trio have a laugh.

The rest of the week passed by uneventfully. As the weekend rolled around Hermione said to him in passing, “Oh yeah, McGonagall wants to see you.” He had been sitting in the common room, trying to get his potions essay done, but his mind kept wandering to where that week had taken him.  
He packed his stuff up and headed down to McGonagall’s office. He knocked and heard a “Come in!” from inside. As he opened the door, she said, “Oh it’s you Mr. Potter! Thank you for coming down. I wanted to inform you that you now have an recurring appointment on Sunday evenings at 7:30, just after supper, with a mind healer. I wanted to ask you, would you rather floo or portkey?”  
He said, “I don’t know, I’ve never done either.” With that, McGonagall said, “Well, the first time you can floo, and if you don’t like it you can try the portkey. To arrive on time, please arrive here at 7:15 Sunday. Any questions?” He thought for a moment, and shook his head. “Very well Mr. Potter. Enjoy the rest of your day.”   
As he left, he thought. Really, he did have one question, but he didn’t want to ask McGonagall. As he walked into the common room he looked around for Hermione. He spotted her across the room and walked over.   
Sitting down next to her on the couch, he said quietly, “How much do you know about mind healers? I wanna know what to expect.” Closing her book slowly, she turned to face him. “I don’t know a lot about them. I’m guessing Ron knows more, or I can try to find something in the library.”   
At that he smiled. “Ron knows more about something than you?” He said in disbelief. Hermione giggled, “Probably.” At this, Ron walked up. “What’s so funny?” “Mate, how much do you know about mind healers?” “Well,” he reasoned, “Apparently they are like muggle counselors, but don’t trust me on that. Most work for St. Mungo’s, but not all. They are mostly there for people who need someone to talk to, and are supposed to help with coping techniques, and give good advice. Other than that, I don’t know much.”   
With this, Harry and Hermione shared a look and burst out laughing. “Ok, what is it you guys?” Hermione finally got out, “You know more about something than me!” With a look of disbelief, Ron started laughing too.   
After they had calmed down, Hermione asked, “Did that answer your question Harry?” “Mostly, but I do want to know about what kind of privacy policies they have.” Hermione was quick to respond, saying, “For that I can easily find a book, and you should bring it up first thing Sunday.”   
Looking confused Ron asked, “What’s Friday?” Harry quietly responded, “My first appointment with a mind healer. And by the way, how did you know it was Sunday and to tell me to go see McGonagall Hermione?” It may have been one of the things we discussed the other day after classes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I will be able to post one more chapter today, but if not I will almost definitely tomorrow morning.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry meets his mind healer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you guys enjoy. This is the longest one yet and I’m exited to post it.

It was Sunday. Later today, he had his first meeting with his mind healer. He was nervous if he was being honest with himself. He had just woken up, and it looked like Ron was still asleep. Getting dressed he then woke up his best friend and they headed down to the common room, where they met Hermione and went down to breakfast.   
For the rest of the time until his appointment they all studied and did their homework, though he and Ron did get distracted. By the time dinner rolled around, that had gotten almost all of their homework for the next week done. When they finished dinner, Ron and Hermione went back to the common room to finish their work, after dropping Harry at McGonagall’s office.   
As he knocked, he heard a now familiar “Come in!” As he walked in McGonagall said “Just on time! I will expect you to return in two hours, back to the Gryffindor common room. It is set up so I will be notified when you return, so don’t worry about notifying me when you return. Other than that you may be on your way.” Stepping up to the fireplace, he took a deep breath and stepped in.   
When he emerged, he was surprised. He was expecting something a little more formal, but it seemed like a den, or a family room. There was a couch, and two very comfy looking armchairs, all facing a round table in the middle to his left. The couch was against one wall, and the chairs were flanking it, and on the right there was a desk along with a rolling desk chair. Underneath the chairs and the sofa, there was a very fluffy and soft looking rug. There was also a door next to the fireplace, which assumedly entered into the rest of the building.   
There was a man, who he assumed to be the mind healer, sitting at the desk. When he heard Harry enter, he turned around. He looked to be in his mid twenties. When he stood up he looked to be about 2 meters tall.  
He smiled, and introduced himself. “Hello. My name is Gregor Hollins. I assume you’re Harry Potter?” He nodded. “In this room I like to drop formalities. You are completely welcome to call me Gregor. Are you comfortable with me calling you Harry? As he finally found his words, he said, “Yes.”   
“Well then Harry, have a seat!” As he sat down on the nearest chair, he thought to himself, this chair is even more comfy than it looks. He watched as Gregor sat down in the other chair and started speaking. “Are there any questions you have, or anything you would like to say to get it out of the way?”   
“Actually, yes. I was wondering about my privacy. I don’t really want the prophet talking all about my childhood. It wasn’t exactly ideal, or very bright.” Gregor answered immediately, “I promise that anything said in here, stays in here. I completely understand that you don’t want more attention than you already have. Anything else?”   
“I would like to know, how much did the professor tell you?” He responded carefully, “Not very much. As I understand it, you were not told about being a wizard, and when you got your letter they tried to keep it from you. Anything else I should know about?” He took a deep breath before he started talking.   
“Yes. They lied about how my parents died. According to them, they died in a car wreck, and that’s how I got my scar. Up until about two years ago, my bedroom was the cupboard under the stairs. I got a lot of burden in the house, like cooking and cleaning. I was never allowed out of my room when there were guests, though my cousin, Dudley was. He was always the favored. He also beat me up a lot, even going as far as breaking bones a couple of times.”   
As he trailed off, Gregor said, “I’m sorry about how your only family treated you. I hope that next time you go back there, it’s better.” Harry just responded with a quiet, “Yeah.” As he was now lost in his thoughts.   
Gregor then said, “I can tell you are thinking about it, will you tell me what you are thinking, and what emotions go along with those thoughts?” “I-I don’t know if I can. I can at least tell you what I am thinking, but it has always been really hard for me to express my feelings, especially without breaking down.”   
Gregor said, “Hey, it’s ok. I know that was probably hard to say, but this room is a safe space, it’s ok if you cry. It’s ok if you yell, this is a place for you to get everything out. There is never any judgment in this room. Got it?”  
Letting out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding he started talking, letting everything that had been on his mind for as long as he could remember spill out.   
“They have always treated me poorly, for as long as I can remember. I have always hated myself, for not being good enough for them. Logically I know I couldn’t have done better, that it was all on them. But I just can’t seem to get that thru my head. Since too young of an age, maybe five, I have learned to put on a mask every morning. I have been crying myself to sleep for as long as I can remember. They always did the bare minimum to keep me alive. I couldn’t believe it when Hagrid broke down that door and told me I was special. I was ecstatic, realizing that I didn’t have to stay with them.”  
Realizing he had been talking for a long time, and that he had started crying, he stopped. Gregor stood up and grabbed a box of tissues from his desk and set them in front of Harry, he sat back down. He crossed his legs and spoke up, “Wow. I didn’t really expect you to open up that much, especially in our first session, providing that you want to continue. I think I should tell you, though it probably won’t help much right away, you are perfect the way you are. There is nothing that you could have done, and you shouldn’t hate yourself.”   
He continued, “Don’t ever think that there is anything you should change about yourself. Is there anything else you would like to share with me?” He thought, “Not really, at least not that I can think of right now. I feel kinda crazy right now, it’s like I had been living with somebody on my back, and they just hopped off. Thank you.”   
“Hey, it’s my job, and I love getting to help people. I propose that for the rest of today, we just have some fun and get to know each other. How does that sound?” Feeling relived that he didn’t have to talk any more today, he quickly nodded, “That sounds great.”  
Gregor stood and opened a closet he hadn’t noticed before, behind the chair he was sitting in. He grabbed a box labeled “Jenga” and sat back down. “Even if they didn’t treat you well, you grew up with muggles, so I’m guessing you generally know how to play?” Smiling he nodded, “Yes.” “So, the way we play it in here” he said, as he dumped the pieces out, which turned out to be multicolored, “Is that for every color, there is a corresponding set of questions. Will you start stacking the tower?”   
Moving forward he nodded and started. Gregor stood up and opened a drawer in his desk, and after shuffling around for a moment pulled out a thick set of cards in a plastic bag. Sitting back down he pulled them out and put them in three piles, one red, one blue, and one green, the same colors as the pieces.   
When the tower was finished, Gregor said, “Why don’t you start?” He pulled a piece from towards the bottom that was blue. He set it on the top and drew the top blue card. “What is your favorite pastime?” He read aloud. “Well, I don’t have much free time, but when I do, I like to read fiction.”   
The game continued until Gregor knocked the tower over. They played once more, before Gregor looked at his watch, and said, “Well, it’s late. You should get back to Hogwarts. I hope to see you in a week?” Harry smiled and nodded, and (a bit nervously) walked into the fire.   
When he walked into the common room, only Ron and Hermione were up, quietly talking. When they saw him they jumped up and as Hermione hugged him, Ron asked, “How did it go, mate?” He shrugged and said, “Better than I expected.” Hermione stepped back and said, “Well, I think we should all get to bed. We do have classes tomorrow.”   
With that Hermione headed one way and Ron and Harry the other. As they quietly got ready for bed, Harry thought the night over. Today had been a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I was planning on skipping ahead to eight year after five but then this got pushed back a chapter, and I really liked writing about Gregor. So, let me know whether you think I should skip ahead or add a couple chapters in between, maybe one for each year(other than seventh, I don’t really want to write about the war, though I might add some flashbacks later on). This was a long one so I hope you enjoyed. Oh, and I just wanted to say that the name Gregor Collins is completely random, I used a random name generator until I found a name I didn’t hate.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry is woken up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m sorry it took so long to post this. Enjoy!

He woke up in a surprisingly good mood. It was Monday, and his first time meeting Gregor was yesterday. He woke Ron up and threw his robes on. He ran down the stairs. He spotted Hermione and said, “Let’s go down to breakfast early. I want to say hi to Hagrid during lunch, so that means we should stop at the kitchens after breakfast, if we actually want to eat.”  
“Woah, where on earth did you come from, and what did you do with Harry? I’ve never seen you get up early, or in such a good mood!” He thought, “Yeah, I guess that yesterday really helped. At the time it felt like someone just took a huge weight off my chest, and I guess I kinda forgot all my problems. I hope this feeling lasts.”   
————————————————————  
That feeling did not last. It lasted until the end of Monday, but Tuesday night he had a nightmare. He woke up to Ron shaking him, looking terrified. “Mate! Are you ok? You’ve been screaming for the last like, five minutes.” Sitting up, he saw all of the boys in the room sitting in their beds.   
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a nightmare.” As he saw everybody but Ron go back to bed, he said quietly so the others couldn’t hear, “It was about one time at the Dursley’s. I’m okay now, just a little on edge. I’m not going to be able to sleep for the rest of the night. If you need me, I’ll be in the common room.   
Throwing on his robes over his pajamas, he crept quietly down the stairs. Sitting in a comfy chair, he tucked his legs up under him. Staring at the fire, he thought about the recurring dream. He had been just sitting on his bed, in the cupboard. He was so scared, but there was no good reason. He felt as if the small walls were creeping in on him, suffocating him.   
Often when he had this dream, he would wake up with those same feelings, the walls crowding in on him. Thankfully, this was not one of those times. He would have to talk to Gregor about this, if there was a name for it, if it was normal. If there was a way to stop it.   
As his mind drifted off, he didn’t notice someone approaching. He was brought out of his thoughts by Ron sitting down next to him. “Wanna talk about it?” Sighing he responded, “Not really. I think I’m going to ask Gregor about it. Usually when I have that nightmare I wake up feeling like I can’t breathe, and like the world is closing in on me. You guys should be glad it was only that bad.”   
Ron gave a slight laugh, “It gets worse?! Oh Merlin, mate, I really hope that never happens. But seriously, if it does happen, what can we do to help?” He thought. He didn’t know. “I don’t know. I’ve never had someone there to help me. I’ll ask and see if Gregor knows anything.”   
“Why are you two boys up!” a voice came from behind them. As they both turned and groaned, Hermione sat down next to them on the sofa. Glancing at each other, they both started talking at once. “Harry couldn’t sleep-“ “I had a nightmare-“ Rolling her eyes Hermione said, “Harry, you first, it sounds like you started this.”   
“Well Ron woke me up around half an hour ago from a nightmare. I had been screaming apparently.” Ron butted in, “He was screaming for like five minutes before I managed to wake him up.” Harry continued, “I knew I wasn’t going to be able to sleep so I came down, after I told everybody else to go to sleep. Ron followed me down here and asked me about it. That’s it.”  
“Ok, my turn.” Ron said. “We were woken by Harry, screaming. It took me a lot longer than it should’ve to wake him up. He finally woke up and told us to go back to bed. Everybody told me to follow him and make sure he was okay. I came down here and yeah.”   
Sighing, Hermione said, “You really should talk to Gregor.” “I know Mionie.” He sighed, “But the next meeting is still almost a week off. I can’t really do anything until then. I’m gonna try to sleep. We do have classes tomorrow.” Getting up he crept back to bed. He heard Ron come up a couple minutes later, as he drifted into a uneasy sleep.   
————————————————————  
It was Sunday morning. The past week had passed by slowly, and he was so ready to see Gregor. He looked at the time, it was already 11:00. He quickly dressed, and saw that Ron must’ve already got up. He quickly got dressed and headed downstairs. He was greeted with a strange sight, usually unless it was the dead of night there was someone in the common room.   
It was empty. He walked quickly to the great hall, it was also empty. Just then he realized. Today was the Ravenclaw vs Hufflepuff quidditch match. Almost everyone would be at the quidditch pitch, and those who were not would most likely be in the library.   
As he entered the library, he spotted Hermione along one of the back rows of shelves. He walked over to her and she greeted, “Good morning Harry.” He responded, “Morning Hermione. Whatcha reading?” As she picked up another book, she explained. “I’m going through some of these books and seeing if I can’t find something that could help you with your nightmares.”  
Giving a slight chuckle, he said, “I’m seeing Gregor this evening anyway. I’m sure he will have something worthwhile to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was gonna skip ahead to eighth year after last chapter, but it didn’t quite line up. I also thought a little explaining was due for that. I think that chapter ten is going to take place in eighth year. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry talks to Gregor again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I’m so exited to post this! Thank you to my beta (drumroll please...) Liiizzaabeth_Rose !

As Harry stepped into the fire, he steeled himself for what he would tell Gregor. He emerged and saw Gregor sitting at his desk.

Gregor spun and grinned. “How are you today, Harry?”

“Not so great. This past week has been hard.” Harry said with a small, tired smile.

Gregor stood up and said, “Well, have a seat and make yourself comfortable. Let’s talk it through.”

As Harry sat down, he said, “Monday was amazing, but by the end of Tuesday everything went downhill.”

Gregor frowned, and responded, “Well, I am certainly glad that Monday went well. Would you tell me what happened Tuesday?”

“Yeah. The day was going fine, but that night I had a nightmare. That part is normal; I get them all the time. This time, Ron woke me up. He said I had been screaming and woke everybody up.” Harry took a deep breath and continued. “I finally woke up and told everybody to go back to bed and that I was fine. I then went down to the common room because I know I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Ron followed and we talked for a little while.” 

Gregor looked at him thoughtfully and said, “It isn’t normal for one to have a lot of nightmares, but it is to be expected after experiencing traumatic events. When you woke up from the nightmare, or perhaps when you’re in a small, tight space, do you ever feel like you can’t breathe, or as if the whole world is caving in on you?”

Harry was surprised, this was very accurate and it seemed as if Gregor had read his mind. “Yeah. Especially if space is as small as a broom cupboard, or if I wake up from the dream in the middle of it, I sometimes feel like I’m still in the nightmare. It’s a horrible feeling.” 

Gregor nodded, “Those are called panic attacks. I figured you might have them, and some claustrophobia.”

Harry nodded, definitely some claustrophobia. “What can I do to try to keep them away?”

“Well, here’s what we can do. I can get you some dreamless sleep potion, and we can try to teach you some breathing exercises to help you cope. If you are comfortable with it, I can help teach your friends, Ron and Hermione, how to help you through one, and what to expect when you will have one, so they can keep you away from your triggers. They could come in with you next week if you want, and if it’s ok with your teachers.” 

Harry smiled, “Thank you. I would like that, and I’m glad to know it’s not just me who feels that way sometimes.”

Gregor replied, “It’s no problem, plus it’s my job. Would you tell me what the dream was about?”

Harry nodded; yes, he could at least try. “I was in my cupboard, and there was a thunderstorm outside. I’ve always hated thunderstorms, but in my cupboard, it was always worse. I could feel the walls shaking with the thunder. It feels like the walls are crowding in on me like I’m going to be buried alive.” Harry sighed sadly and cursed his relatives under his breath. Damn them for making an 11 year old boy carry around all this trauma, “I’m glad there haven’t been any storms so far this year. I don’t think it would be good, especially in front of the class.”

Gregor spoke up, “If there was a storm, what would keep the panic attack away? Does being around other people or being in the lower part of the castle, where it’s harder to tell what’s going on outside, help?”

After thinking, Harry responded. “Well I’m not 100 percent sure, but I think being around people would help. Being on the lower floors might not help as most of the problem is the fear that walls might collapse. Outside might help; it’s not the storm itself that bothers me but being in an open space helps me a lot.”

After a moment, Gregor went on. “I’m glad you told me about that, and that we can try to help you with the panic attacks. Did anything else happen this week that I should know about?”

Harry thought for a moment. Not much had happened that week, but it had been crappy. He realized something that had been weighing down on him though. “Not really. There has been something that had been weighing down on me though. Almost two weeks ago, McGonagall held me after class to talk to me about the Dursley’s. Malfoy listened at the door. When I left, I caught him. He had heard all of it. H-He told me something about his childhood, so we were even.”

Gregor looked surprised. “I guess that was one solution. What did he tell you?”

Harry hesitated. He didn’t know if it was a good idea to give Malfoy’s secret away. Still, he remembered that Gregor had said that whatever was said in here, stays in here. So, he took a deep breath and responded in a quiet voice, “He told me that his father beats him every day.”

The room was deathly quiet for a moment before Gregor broke it. “I bet that surprised you. On the outside, he seems very confident, cocky, arrogant, and a down right git, but on the inside he isn’t, and is in fact, very vulnerable.”

Harry just responded with a quiet, “Yeah,” lost in his thoughts. 

At that, Gregor stood up and said, “I’m glad we got to talk, it; seems like you needed it. I’ll see you and hopefully Ron and Hermione in a week?”

Smiling, Harry said, “Yeah. I’ll talk to McGonagall and make sure it’s ok, but I don’t see why it wouldn’t. Bye!” 

He then stepped into the fire and with a final wave goodbye, was whooshed away by the flames. The next thing he knew, he was already back in the common room, being spitted out by the fireplace.  
Harry saw that Ron and Hermione were both sitting in one of the many sofas found in the common room, along with a few other students who he didn’t know. He walked over to his friends and said that he needed to talk to them tomorrow after classes near the lake.

Ron and Hermione shot each other a glance, and Ron spoke up, “Yeah, mate. I don’t see why not.”

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, he said sincerely, “Thank you. I’m going to go to bed now, Goodnight.”

As he methodically got prepared for bed he thought about what exactly he was going to say to his friends. He decided he would ask them to come with him to his meeting with Gregor first, and then explain why. As he drifted off into sleep, he realized that even if the last week had been crappy, he had still been happier than he’d ever been for most of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was my first beta’d chapter, so hopefully it was easier to read. I absolutely love it, thank you again, Liiizzaabeth_Rose  
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio talk to Gregor about panic attacks.

It was Monday morning, so this afternoon he would be talking to Ron and Hermione. He woke up and did his typical scrambling around to get ready, along with waking Ron up.

As he walked down the stairs to the common room, he realized he should remember to talk to McGonagall. ‘Meh, Hermione could do that.’ Harry thought to himself, not wanting to deal with his head of house this early into the day.

As the Trio headed off to breakfast, he overheard a conversation between a couple of older students.

“That Potter kid is so lucky. I bet he’s always had stuff handed to him,” one third-year Hufflepuff whispered to their friend, who nodded in agreement.

This messed with him a little, considering how wrong they were. It sent his mind to thinking about how others, who didn’t know him as well, perceived him. It didn’t bother him, just a bit curious. 

As they reached the great hall, the Trio sat down together as usual at the Gryffindor table. His mind must’ve wandered very far away because Hermione said, “Okay, what’s on your mind?”

Frowning slightly, he said, “I’m wondering what outsiders think of me. I heard some older students in the hall talking, saying that I must’ve had everything handed to me.” He sighed. 

This time, it was Hermione that frowned, asking, “Does it bother you? People talking about you?”

He hesitated, “Not really. I just hate to think about how wrong they are. It’s also one more reason I hate the papers; they would probably say it’s a ploy for attention or something. Still, it’s frustrating that people assume stuff like that.”

Classes passed by pretty quickly and were pretty boring. By the end of the day, he was so ready to get having to talk to Ron and Hermione over and done with. 

As the Trio walked down to the lake, he started to wonder what Hermione and Ron’s reactions would be. Hermione would probably be a bit concerned and immediately run off to the library to do research. Ron- who knows what Ron will say. 

They reached the lake, and Hermione laid down a blanket for them to sit on. That all sat down and just sat in silence for a moment. It was a comfortable kind of silence, not an awkward silence. 

“Will you two come with me to my next meeting with Gregor?” Harry finally blurted out. Wanting this to be over and done with. Both Ron and Hermione looked at him in surprise. 

Hermione was the first to respond, saying, “I don’t see why not. Is there a reason you want us to come?”

Taking a deep breath, he responded, “Yes. I kinda told Ron about this before, but apparently, I have had panic attacks.” He shuddered. “I freak out about things, for example, small spaces, cupboards, and thunderstorms. I want you two to be able to help me avoid those things, so I don’t get triggered, along with being able to help me get through them.”

Ron then spoke up, “I’ll come. I want to be able to help you, and probably the other boys would be grateful if you didn’t scream bloody murder in the middle of the night.” He added, sending a smile at Harry, which he gratefully returned.  
Hermione then spoke up, “Same. Have you checked with McGonagall to make sure it’s okay?”

He replied with a “Nope. I was hoping you could deal with that?”

Hermoine rolled her eyes and said that yes, she will come and that she wonders what the other two would do without her.

Both Harry and Ron laughed, and Hermonie soon joined in.

  
They all stepped into the fire in succession and popped out in Gregor’s office. Gregor, as always, spun around and said, “Hello Harry! And you two must be Ron and Hermione.” He added, shaking their hands. 

Ron and Hermione both said hello as they shook Gregor’s hand.

Gregor said, “Have a seat, make yourself comfortable.”

They all sat down, Harry on the chair closest to the door, Ron and Hermione on the sofa next to each other, and Gregor in the other chair. 

Gregor spoke first. “I don’t know at all what Harry has told you, but he has what we call panic attacks.”

Both Hermione and Ron nodded at this.

“One of his triggers is thunderstorms, but we don’t know what all of his triggers are yet. Our goal today is to teach you about panic attacks, triggers, and how to help people through them.”

Harry said, “My nightmares often cause panic attacks. It would be nice, Ron, if you could try to get me out of the room or the other boys out of the room. I really don’t want them to see me like that.”

Gregor nodded. “If you can tell that he is going to have an attack, try to get him away from triggers, and if possible, people. I wouldn’t worry about it as much if it wasn’t Harry Potter we talked about, but we are. You don’t exactly need more publicity than you already have.”

Harry sighed. He hated being reminded of his status as ‘The Chosen One.’ 

“Anyways,” Gregor continued, “Some things to expect during attacks include loss of breath and shaking. Most people won’t be able to hold themselves up and will end up curled in a ball. Some people prefer having someone holding them helping ground them to reality; others not. It can also depend on the trigger. Ask before touching, and don’t if you don’t get a definite response. Any questions so far?”

Ron spoke first. “Can’t you just use a calming draught?”

Hermione was the one that answered. “Well, you could, but it’s effects take too long to wear off, and using it often can have negative side effects and could cause dependency.”  
Gregor looked impressed. “Correct. Along with those, it’s much stronger than is necessary. I’m sure if you found somebody to personally brew your potions, they could brew a version that wears off more quickly and is weaker, but we don’t have those kinds of resources.”

Hermione piped up with her question. “What would happen if he were to have a panic attack, and we couldn’t be there to help him? I mean, I’m sure others would be not helpful.”

Gregor pondered for a moment. “Well, most likely, everything would be okay. We should make sure all the professors know about panic attacks. Once we find out more, we can also try to avoid situations in class. Anything else?”

The redhead and brunette shook their heads no, so the mind healer continued where he left off before. “Some other symptoms can be nausea, chills, hot flashes, rapid heart rate, sweating. There are countless more symptoms, but I’m not going to list them all. One of the most important things is making sure that he is still breathing. If you seem calm, it will help. If you take deep breaths, it is most likely that Harry will copy. Anything else you guys wanna know?”

Hermione shook her head, but Ron spoke. “If thunderstorms are triggers, what can we do during thunderstorms?”

Harry responded, “Going towards the middle of the castle, being outside, or in open spaces. The problem isn’t the storm itself, but the fear of walls coming in on me.”

Gregor stood up and said, “Well, that’s all the time we have for today. If there is anything else, we can talk more another time. For now, you three enjoy the rest of the week. It’s supposed to be sunny all week! Bye!” 

The three all said goodbye and whooshed back to Hogwarts. For now, the three were happy and carefree; in the future, that might change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, Liiizzaabeth_Rose. I hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eighth year?

-EIGHTH YEAR-  
Their first day back, he was surprised. The castle looked much the same, though he had seen it at its most broken. This year, all of the eighth years shared a common room, and each had their own space, though two people shared a bathroom. The bathrooms connected two of the rooms, a door on each end of the toilet, so the teachers let them pick their own rooms.  
As he walked in to the great hall, he saw a separate table for the eighth year students. He sat down with all the other people who had returned. He saw Ron and Hermione, of course, along with Dean, Seamus, Neville, Luna, Malfoy, Parkinson, Zabini, Nott, Ernie, Abbot, Terry Boot, Justin Finch-Fletchley, and the Patil twins.  
He smiled. He had been doing a lot better since the war ended, and he had been able to go back to meeting with Gregor. He heard McGonagall start her speech, as she was the new headmaster, but he knew he didn’t have to listen. If there was something important, Hermione would let him know.  
He had broken up with Ginny a week or so before, after realizing he didn’t feel that way about Ginny anymore. He had tried to make it gentle, but it had turned out that sometime during the war, she had figured out that she was bent, and wasn’t attracted to men.  
As food magically appeared on the table, he said a silent thank you, to the people in his life and for all the people who died. He was especially thankful that he never had to go back to the Dursley’s. Even though he thought they had a bit of a change of heart when they had to run from dark wizards, he was pretty sure he would never be ok sleeping in their house again.  
Coming back to the present, he started catching up with those around him. Ron and Hermione were still together, and Dean and Seamus had become a couple during the war. Apparently, Neville was with Theodore Nott? Who knew either of them was bent? Other than that, most things were about the same. The school was trying to promote inter house unity, so he talked to some Slytherins to help with that.  
All of them seemed nicer. Most of the Slytherins, or their parents, were death eaters, but they had changed. Malfoy at least, said he was trying to forget his pure blood status. He even had apologized to Hermione and Ron for his teasing and really did seem to be making an effort.  
As dinner came to an end, they all trekked to their common room. As they all sat down on the chairs and sofas that were facing the fire, Parkinson came over with three bottles of fire whiskey. As she sat she announced, “We are all going to have fun tonight, and learn more about each other. I’m letting you choose, Truth or Dare, or Never Have I Ever?” 

An argument broke out. Hermione of course, saves the day, “Ok, let's vote. Raise your hand for Never Have I Ever.”

Most hands stayed down, but about five went up. “Ok, only six, so Truth or Dare wins!”

His mind flashed back to his first year when Hermione was trying to cheer him up after he had told her and Ron about the Dursley’s. 

Smiling, Parkinson explained the rules. “If you chicken out of either a truth or dare, you take a shot. If someone brings up the war, everyone takes a shot. Got it?” Everyone nodded. Pansy smiled and said, “Good. Draco, you start.”

“Dean, Truth, or Dare?”

“Oh, definitely truth from you.”

“Ok, how did you and Seamus get together?” Glancing at the person he was cuddled up to, the dark-skinned male smiled.

“Well, he had been flirting with me since the third year, and I didn’t notice. When I figured out I was bent, he was the first one I told in sixth year. He said, ‘really, me too. I’ve been flirting with you for years.’ When he said that, I felt so bad that I hadn’t noticed. And from that day forward, we were a couple.”

“That explains how one day you were friends, and then somehow, the next day, you’re both gay and together,” Neville said.  
Dean responded, “Well, actually I’m bi, but yeah. Luna, truth, or dare?”

“I’ll take a dare,” Luna said dreamily.

Dean smirked and said, “Snog the person you have a crush on.”

Standing up and walking across the circle, Luna gave Parkinson a small peck on the cheek. Parkinson blushed a bright red while Luna just sat back down with her signature dreamy smile and rose pink cheeks.

Harry was so surprised that he just sat there and stared at the two women, only snapping out of his daze when Luna said, “Truth or Dare, Harry.”

Shaking his head, he smiled and said, “Dare.”

Luna looked at him thoughtfully, “I dare you to... tell us something surprising that we don’t know about you.” Oh... what should he say? There are lots of things he could say but... which one?

“Umm... do all of you guys promise that what we say in here stays in here? I’m willing to tell you guys this, but I don’t really want the papers knowing.”

Parkinson nodded and said, “New rule. Whatever is revealed in this room, stay in the room got it?” looking at everyone with a slight glare.

The entire room murmured in agreement. So Harry took a deep breath and looked down at his lap before talking. “When I was a kid, I was told that my parents died in a car accident. I never knew I was a wizard until I was 11. And even then, Hagrid had to be the one to explain it to me.” He said quietly but still loud enough that everybody could hear him.

The room was deathly quiet. So quiet that you could’ve heard a pin drop.

As Harry looked back up, he saw the pity and sorrow on his year mates' faces. He saw the surprise on Hermione and Ron’s faces, which turned into a kind smile, knowing how hard it was for him to open up. 

Shaking it off, he said with a grin, “Truth or dare, Malfoy?”

Malfoy looked surprised, but not scared. “Truth. I’m not drunk enough for a dare yet.”

“Ok... Why did it always seem like you and Parkinson were a thing, though claim you weren’t?” 

Looking a bit nervous, Malfoy said, “Because to the public we are. Together I mean,” Malfoy glanced at Pansy, who gave a tiny nod. “We both knew for a long time, second-year I’d reckon that we were bent. We both grew up in pureblood families where it was unacceptable. We never really came out; there wasn’t really a point. We are former death eaters; no one wants to date us. So, we just continued the charade to please both our families. It’s not like there's anything we can do anyway.”

The game continued for a little while longer, but nothing exciting or interesting happened. As 9:30 rolled around Hermione spoke up. “We do have classes starting tomorrow. We should all head to bed; we shouldn’t be late for our first day of class.”  
As everybody got up, people started heading to their rooms. Ron and Hermione had joint rooms, and Harry’s was across the hall from theirs, connecting with Blaise. Dean and Seamus have connecting rooms, and Neville and Nott were next to each other. 

As everyone got prepared for bed and drifted off, Harry thought of all the things he had learned tonight. He hadn’t realized how many people were bent, or how many people had gotten together. And... Parkinson and Luna could actually become a thing... Wouldn’t that be something?

With that thought, Harry quickly drifted off into a dreamless sleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, thanks to my beta, Liiizzaabeth_Rose. I hope you enjoyed!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The eighth years continue to get to know each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I’m so sorry it took me so long to post this. I just had classes start, and my first week was crazy. Anyway, thanks to my beta, Liiizzaabeth_Rose. Hope you enjoy!

The group crowded down the halls, Luna in the lead, dragging Pansy behind her, with everybody else following. Ron and Hermione brought up the rear, murmuring.

Harry thought about how nice yesterday had been. He had been able to smile and laugh for what seemed like the first time in forever. It was kinda nice to not argue with the Slytherins just because they were the opposite house. 

As the group sat down at their table, he started chatting with his friends and the others that he wanted to get to know better. Food magically appeared on the table as always, and they all dug in. As they all talked, he found out some interesting details about his fellow year-mates. 

Theodore Nott laughed and said, “Did you know that in fifth year, Blaise and Draco hooked up. Now reminder, Blaise is straight.” As everyone looked at the two, Draco smirked, and Blaise had a furious blush. 

Draco counters with, “Did you know that Theo here once ran all around the lake in just his pants?” Theo looked mortified, and he looked even more embarrassed when Blaise added, “Theo also, in fourth year, forgot that we had dorms, and people share dorms. A couple of times, several of us were woken up to him wanking. And he can’t keep a silencing charm up.”

Theo hid his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder. Neville just let out a small laugh and kissed Theo’s temple. They made an adorable couple. 

Harry grinned and said, “Did you know that while we were on the run, Ron and Hermione here had a huge fight? Ron even ran away from us for a couple of months. It was all because of a locket that he was wearing.” 

Ron sputtered and was quick to defend himself, saying, “The locket was enchanted. Whoever was wearing it was always in a bad mood. Anyways, did anybody know that Harry has an invisibility cloak?” Harry stared at his longest friend. He had not expected this piece of information to be revealed. 

Draco started laughing. “So it was you in Hogsmeade that day! The three of us were so freaked out and confused.” The volume at the table dropped. There weren't three anymore, and people hated being reminded of the war. 

As the chatter at the table returned to its previous buzz, Neville spoke up. “I enjoyed last night a lot. Maybe we can continue to do it? We could do Friday nights, so it wouldn’t matter if we got drunk?” Everyone at the table seemed to agree with this, and everyone was looking forward to it. 

As the day passed, he found himself migrating away from those he knew and towards those that he wanted to get to know. He found out that Draco had changed more than he had thought. He even had seen him give Hermione a high-five. 

After classes were over, the group decided to walk around the castle, to see what’s different, and to see how many places in the castle were still a mystery to them. They started in the dungeons. The Slytherins, of course, knew it all, and everyone else was pretty lost. 

As they slowly made their way up, they found out a lot. The Slytherins knew all the hiding places; the Ravenclaws knew where things were; the Hufflepuffs knew where the places people went to were. The Gryffindors knew where most of the practical things were. Everybody knew where the Room of Requirement was. 

After they finished their exploring, it was time for dinner. As they all sat down on the long benches, Harry noticed that Ron and Hermionie were arguing but didn’t think anything of it. It isn’t unusual for any couple to argue. Most of dinner time passed pretty uneventfully, but at one point, Draco decided to try to get Neville and Theo to have a threesome with him before the talking got too loud and McGonagall came over to their table. That was enough to shut him up.

When they finished dinner and reached the common room, they were all laughing. It was surprising how well they got along when they weren’t on opposite sides of the war. Most of the group sat down on the floor by the fire to chat. Everybody else either studied or had something else they were supposed to do. 

As they talked, Draco said quietly, “Harry?” Harry responded in the same, quiet tone with, “Yeah?”

“Do you remember in first year when you caught me eavesdropping outside McGonagall’s class?” 

Harry was stunned, and a wave of nervousness swept through him. “Yeah?” He said again. Draco took a deep breath and sighed before continuing. 

“I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made fun of you; I’m sorry I eavesdropped. I-I didn’t realize how hard you had it and that I would learn information that I didn’t want to know. That day I realized that I didn’t want to be your enemy. I told you that day about my father, not just so we were even, but because I wanted to get to know you. I know that after that, I still was not the nicest to you. I have no excuse for my behavior then. But... can we be friends?”

He was taken aback. This was not what he had been expecting. Draco-had wanted to be friends? Why had he always been so mean to him? He decided that the past should be left in the past and to be friends with Draco. 

Harry smiled and said, “First, I accept your apology, though I have no idea why you thought being mean to me would work well if you wanted to be friends. And, second, yes, I’ll be friends with you.” After this, the two boys went back to chatting with the group. 

A little while later, the group decided to go in a circle and give fun facts about themselves and their peers to get to know each other. In the first round, they would share a fact about themselves. From then on, they would share a fact about someone else in the group. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Theo, Blaise, Draco, Pansy, and Luna were all playing and were sitting in that order. 

Harry started. “I already own a house. It belonged to Sirius before he died.”   
Ron went next. “I owned a rat as a pet. Turned out it was Peter Pettigrew. He was an Animagus.” 

Draco looked confused and said, “Wait, wasn’t he dead?” 

Rolling his eyes, Ron responded, “Everyone thought he was, but he wasn’t. It’s a very long story.”

Hermione was next. “Umm... As you know, I’m a Muggle-born, and my parents are dentists. They take care of people’s teeth.” Looking around, a lot of people looked surprised, mostly those who grew up in wizarding families. 

As they finished the circle, a few interesting facts were revealed, but most of them were pretty dull. Pansy and Luna were now dating, as of that morning. Other than that, Blaise had never had a serious relationship before. 

As they moved on, sharing facts about others, it got a lot more interesting. They had decided that they would go in the same order and give a fact about the person whose turns it was. 

Hermione was first to give a fact, about Harry. “The only reason Harry didn’t fail potions sixth year was because he had a book with a lot of tips and shortcuts. It used to belong to Snape.”

Harry spoke next, about Ron. “Ron has always been smarter than you would think. He said, don’t follow the spiders, and we followed the spiders. We almost died that night.” Everyone either looked surprised or laughed. 

Dean was the one to talk about Hermione. “One time I saw her hit Ron on the head with a newspaper and then thought she hit him too hard. It was amusing. She went from being mad at him to apologizing to the poor git.”

Dean was up next, and Seamus had a fact about him. “The first time we kissed was both of our first kisses. It was absolutely horrible! He completely knocked both of us over.”

“Ohhh, I’m getting back at you! Let’s see... the first time that we slept together, Seamus forgot that we are wizards. I may have scared the Gryffindor out of him by vanishing our shirts...”

Laughing, Seamus shoved Dean, though it didn’t work very well, considering that they were almost on top of each other. The rest of the circle soon joined in laughing.

Harry has the next fact about Neville. “One time, in first year actually, Hermione, Ron, and I were sneaking out of the common room, and Neville stood up to us and told us not to. Hermione jinxed him. Full body-bind.” 

Theo was the first to start laughing and said, “So that Gryffindor wit got you in trouble. That totally doesn’t sound familiar...” Neville blushed and hid his face in Theo’s shoulder. Theo just laughed again and said, “And now that bravery is gone. Hmm...”

Pansy was the one to speak up about Theo. “Did you guys happen to know what happened the first night of fifth year?” 

Theo groaned at this and said, “Pleeeaaase, No!”

Pansy just snickered and said, “I caught Theo in Draco’s room. They were dating at that point, so who cares, but the fun part is that when I mentioned the hickeys on his neck the next morning, he denied they were hickeys even after Draco had told everyone they were his own work. Those two needed to work on their communication.”

As they moved on to Blaise, Theo said, “Did we mention this morning that Draco and Blaise hooked up?” At this, Blaise went bright red, and everyone laughed.

Draco smiled and said, “Do your worst. You can not phase me,” as they moved on from Blaise’s embarrassment. All the Slytherins looked at each other, and they all had an evil glint in their eyes.

Pansy was the first one to speak. “Hmm… there was that one time in sixth year that we caught you leaving Theo’s room mostly naked. You were carrying your ripped-up clothes.”

Harry smiled and said, “Even I can help put some color on those deathly pale cheeks. One time I caught him eavesdropping on a private conversation I had with Professor McGonagall.”

Draco was starting to get a very slight tint to his cheeks, but it was in no way a blush, so the group kept at him. “I remember one time in fifth year that you were forced to kiss a girl during a game of truth and dare, so you wouldn't be outed as bent, and afterward, you completely lost it. You were just about screaming for over an hour,” Pansy said, and then addressed the group, saying, “He’s dreadful when he’s angry. Don’t get on his bad side. He paces and shouts. The worst is when he gets angry enough to throw things. Though it is almost worse when he is scared or nervous, he loses all of his wittiness. It’s bizarre.” 

Harry was shocked. Had… Had Draco been nervous that day after he had found him outside the classroom? He had seemed not as brave or witty as he usually did… Could he seriously have been nervous? Why would he be scared? He decided to ask about it later. 

They moved on, deciding that they had embarrassed Draco enough for the night. Draco decided to get Pansy back and shared something about her. “Pansy has never learned to put up a silencing charm. If you hear something late at night, it’s probably her.” Pansy didn’t look at all fazed.   
Luna was next, and no one really had anything about her. She was pretty innocent and was a little strange, but never embarrassed about it. After this, they decided that they should quit for the night, but not before they added it to the list of games for them to play on Friday nights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed! I hope I can keep getting updates up more often, but thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The eighth years play quidditch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta, Liiizzaabeth_Rose, and I hope you enjoy!

DRACO’S POV

It was Wednesday morning, and he was one of the first ones to the common room as always. The Slytherins were always first, followed by the Gryffindors. The other houses were pretty random. 

As everyone headed to the great halls, he handed Pansy a note. He had enchanted it so only she could read it. It said, ‘At least I’m friends with Harry. I wish I could be more, but he’s straight. I would rather be friends than enemies.’ She glanced at him, and said, “Who knows. He broke up with the Weaselette.”

Draco sighed. “Just because he broke up with the Weaselette, doesn't mean he’s gay,” he said with an eye roll. Pansy just smiled. They reached the Eighth year table and everyone sat down and as usual, the food magically appeared and they dug in. 

As they ate, Pansy told him, “You really should just ask him out. I have a hunch that he isn’t straight.” Maybe he wasn’t straight, and Pansy was right, but he would wait until the other boy came out. If he ever did. 

As everyone finished their breakfast and grabbed their bags and started heading to class when he caught Harry looking at him. He wondered if it was because he felt the same way about Draco as Draco felt about him. 

As everybody reached class, Draco noticed that Pansy had decided to sit next to Luna instead of him. He was a little sad until Harry sat next to him. He was slightly on edge for all of the class, but other than that classes went pretty well, and nothing interesting happened. 

After classes were done for the day the eighth year students decided to play a game of Quidditch. The teams were mostly Gryffindor v.s Slytherin, but there were also some Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. The teams were slightly small, with only two chasers each. The teams were Harry, Ron, Neville, Seamus, Luna, and Dean v.s Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Theo, and the Patil twins. 

As he flew up into the air, he closed his eyes. He felt a sense of freedom in the air, like nothing in the world mattered. He took a deep breath before opening his eyes and taking a first glance around for the snitch. 

Of course, Harry was the other seeker, so they had very little chance. The only way for them to win was if their chasers did better than the other teams, and their keeper would have to block a lot of shots. 

As he looked around again, he noticed Harry staring at a spot near one of the stands. As he looked he saw a flash of gold before Harry was off. He raced off after him, a couple of meters behind. He gained a couple of feet and got far enough forward to bump into him. Harry took a second to shift back, and Draco was in the lead. 

All he had to do was keep Harry away from the snitch, and catch it if he could. He chanced a glance towards Harry and saw that he was quickly being overtaken, and was falling behind again. He pushed forward with all he had, but it wasn't quite enough. As they reached the spot where they had seen the flash of gold, they spun, neither spotting the golded winged sphere that they were seeking.

They both gave up on seeking the snitch where they were and slowly flew back towards the middle of the pitch. It was a while longer before either of them saw that small flash of gold that they were looking for, but in the background, he could almost tell what was going on below him. 

When he was flying, he was always in his own little world. He was separated from all the drama in the waking world. He didn’t have to think about if his grades would be good enough for his father, or if he would be beaten because of the dark mark that was forced upon him. He didn’t have to worry if he could get a suitable job.

Around him, he knew that the Gryffindor team had scored 40 points, and the Slytherin team had 30. He didn’t really register it though, in his own world, high in the air.

He caught a glimpse of gold, near the bottom of the middle Gryffindor goalpost. As soon as he saw it, he was off. Chancing a quick glance to the man he was racing, he realized they would most likely reach the snitch at the same time. That glance he had taken was not good. He had taken his eyes off of the snitch, and when he looked back, it was gone. 

Harry must’ve seen the flash of gold because he hadn’t moved his eyes and was flying like a curse. They both kept flying and reached where Draco had seen the snitch. He followed Harry, and then he saw another flash of gold right in front of him. He reached out to grab it and it was gone.

Harry had caught the snitch. Harry had won the game for his team. They both slowly floated down to the ground. The rest of the players followed, the Gryffindors surrounding Harry and congratulating him. The Slytherins hung back, still not invited into the group.   
They all headed back to their common room, and someone broke out the fire whiskey. As they all celebrated the Gryffindors victory, Draco found himself gravitating towards Harry, and silently scolded himself. Harry didn’t want to be with him, Harry wasn’t even gay.

As the night progressed, he sought Pansy out. He said quietly to her, quietly enough that no one could hear him, “I’m going up to my room. When you have had enough of snogging Luna’s face off, I want to talk to you.” 

He went up to his room and flopped on the bed. He pulled out his homework and got through about halfway through his Transfiguration essay before Pansy quietly slipped in. He didn’t even look up when he said, “I can’t stand being friends with Harry. I want him so bad, and he doesn't know it! I hate this!”

Pansy sighed and sat down on the bed next to him. “He hasn’t said whether he is straight or not.” They both sat in silence for a couple of minutes before Pansy said, “Move on. Do something other than wallow in your self-pity.” She left, and he was alone, thinking about his crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! I’m working on the next chapter, and I’m pretty exited about it! Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has a rough day.

He woke up with a pounding headache. He turned over and groaned, remembering what happened last night, or parts of it. Why had he gotten so drunk on a school night? He turned over and literally rolled out of bed and as he picked himself up off the floor, he just hoped that someone had brewed up a hangover potion. 

He got dressed and trudged over to wake Ron up, assuming that Hermione hadn’t gotten as drunk and had already started eating breakfast. He knocked on the door and heard a come in, but not from Ron. He walked in and saw that Ron and Hermionie were standing across the room from each other. 

He was startled and said, “Am I interrupting something?” 

Hermione sighed and said, “Not really.” She added, pointing it at Ron, “We can finish this later.”

As the trio walked to the common room, Harry asked, “Are either of you as hungover as me?” 

Ron sighed and said, “Yeah, I am. I hope someone has brewed a hangover potion.” Harry smiled to himself, he had the same thought earlier.

Hermione sighed and glared at them, “You two shouldn’t have gotten drunk on a school night. You deserve to be hungover.”

They reached the common room and the smell of a hangover potion drifted their way. The boys walked over to a table near the fire where Draco had a cauldron set up. Draco sighed, and said, “You too? I brewed this originally for Pansy, but I guess everyone but me got drunk last night.” 

Hermione responded, “Everyone but you and me, I believe.” 

Draco conjured a pair of glasses and filled them before handing them to Ron and Harry, saying, “Well Hermione, next time anybody gets drunk, either I’m going to get drunk with them or study with you. Anyway, tomorrow night, I’m drinking. I won’t drink on a school night, but on a weekend, there is no way that I’m the only one not drinking.”

As everybody rushed down the halls to breakfast, he noticed that Ron and Hermionie weren’t walking next to each other like they normally did. Maybe it had something to do with the argument they had that morning, but he decided to stay out of it unless they decided to include him.

Everyone then sat on their respective house tables with Hermionie and Ron sitting at opposite ends of the table, Pansy and Luna sitting next to each other, Dean and Seamus sitting next to each other, and everyone else filled in the gaps. As the food appeared and they all chatted, Harry’s mind drifted off.

He had broken it off with Ginny because ‘he didn’t feel that way’ anymore. Did he… did he feel that way about anyone? Come to think of it… there was a man who he did think of. But… he hadn’t felt like that for any other boys before. And he had felt that way about girls… He would look in the library later, he didn’t really want to talk to Hermionie about this.

He was brought back to the present when Draco started an impression of Quirrel. “I t-t-teach D-Defense Against the D-D-Dark Arts.” while fidgeting with his hand, doing a pretty good impression of their first DADA professor.

Harry laughed and joined in on the impressions. “Turn to page three-hundred and…. ninety….four.” Harry drawled, pulling robes around him with a slight sneer on his face. Everyone laughed as they continued to imitate their old potions professor.

As everyone finished their breakfast and grabbed their bags before class Harry decided that he would go to the library in his free period while Hermionie had Arithmancy so he wouldn’t be pestered by her.  
They reached their first class, potions, and everyone sat down. Slughorn then started class, “Today we are going to be starting our liquid luck potions. Everybody, please pair up.” Mostly the couples were together, minus Ron and Hermionie, but everyone else was just with their friends, and he ended up with Draco.

As Harry pulled out his book, Draco set up their cauldron. “I’ll go get the ingredients,” Harry said. He then went to the small supply cupboard. As he reached out for the ingredients, a boggart suddenly appeared. The shapeless creature started to swirl and shift to his greatest nightmare. But before the creature could take shape, he quickly yelled out “Riddikulus!” 

The room then fell silent. Harry could feel his breathing quicken, his heart began to race and his palms sweat up. The room became hot and cold at the same time, and he felt light-headed. Under his breath, he muttered, “Oh no, not now.” He took a deep breath trying to calm his breathing, but it did nothing. He felt his legs go weak, and he slid down the wall. He was barely breathing, and he was shaking like crazy. 

He put his forehead on his knees and tried to breathe, but it didn’t do much. He suddenly heard a voice calling out to him “Come on Harry, breathe. Deep breaths.” He could feel the voice take a couple of loud, deep, breaths and he tried to copy it. Slowly, he found it slightly easier to breathe.

Harry looked up to see Draco’s gray eyes and platinum blond hair. He heard the blonde asked quietly, “Is it ok if I touch you?” Harry nodded, that wasn’t the problem right now, Draco set his hand gently on Harry’s arm, and Harry calmed down a little more, at least to the point he could talk.

“I-I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting that one. Thank you, but how did you know what to do?” 

Draco sighed with a slight smile. “More people than you think have panic attacks after the war, I’ve seen almost everyone in eighth year have one. I’ve also had them as long as I can remember.” 

Harry was surprised, though he realized that he shouldn’t have been, knowing what he knew from first year.

“I should've known. Thanks for helping, you didn’t need to. Both Ron and Hermionie know how to help.”

Draco just smiled and said, “But I was already right here. I also assumed that you don’t want the entire class to see you breakdown, right?” 

They stood up, Harry on shaky knees, Draco said, “Why don’t you go back to the table and look through the instructions, and I will grab the rest of the ingredients.” 

He sighed, thankful to get out of the cupboard. “Thanks,” he said as he left.

He entered the classroom and sent Ron a look that said something along the lines of ‘panic attack, talk later,’ before returning to their station to look at the instructions. The rest of the period passed pretty quickly with nothing out of the ordinary. 

After that, most people had a free period, while others had Arithmancy. Hermionie headed off to class while Harry pulled Ron aside to tell him what happened. After he had told the whole story, he said, “I’m gonna go to the library, there is something I want to look up. I’ll meet you for lunch?” Ron nodded his assent before they went their own ways.

He reached the library, and after some searching, he found some of the stuff he wanted. He decided it would be better to read it in the safety of his room with no one looming over his shoulder. He left the library and walked back to his room with as little human contact as possible. He flopped down on his bed and read, though his mind did wander off several times. 

As his free period came to an end, he went down to the common room where he met the rest of the Eighth years on their way to DADA. The class passed uneventfully, and soon people were heading to lunch. As lunch started, it started raining outside. 

He could get through it. Breathe, he told himself. He wasn’t freaking out right now, but he was definitely on edge, his nerves, on fire. As they moved onto double transfiguration, it started thundering. He hoped he wasn’t going to have another panic attack. The class sat down, and the lesson started. They split into groups to start transfiguring splinters into tables. 

The thunder, too many people, trapped. He couldn’t take it. 

He raced out of the classroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... a cliffhanger! The next chapter should be ready soon, so you don’t have to wait too long.  
> Thank you to my beta, Liiizzaabeth_Rose! I hope you enjoyed!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A game of truth and dare happens, and things are revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you! I hope you enjoy!

He slid down the wall, struggling to breathe. He was shaking, and couldn’t stand. He placed his head in between his knees and did his best to breathe. He sat there for several minutes before a person, who he believed to be Hermoine, came out of the classroom and kneeled in front of him.

“Take a deep breath, breathe with me. In… and out…” Her soft, calming voice penetrated through all the panic and he started to calm down a little bit, but he still wasn’t alright.

“Hey, is it alright if I touch you?” Hermoine asked with caution.  
He took another shaky breath and nodded. Hermione leaned over and gave him a tight hug. 

“I-I-I’ll be alright for now. I probably won’t stop being off until it stops raining, but we can go back to class now. I’ll be ok.” He slowly stood up, and his legs giving out once, but, he managed to walk back into the classroom. 

He managed to transfigure his splinter into a small end table. Class ended, seeing as he had been in the hall for close to twenty minutes. He decided to tell McGonagall the reason he ran out of the room for the majority of the class. 

After McGonagall dismissed the class, Harry walked up to her desk. “What can I do for you, Mr. Potter?” 

He looked at his teacher and shifted his eyes to the ground, feeling embarrassed. “I just wanted to apologize for running out of class earlier. I had a panic attack, and as Draco phrased it so well earlier, I don’t exactly want the whole class knowing that their savior has panic attacks.” 

McGonagall looked at Harry with concern and pity in her eyes and responded, “Thank you kindly for telling me. I had my suspicion, Ms. Granger told me that she was leaving to try to calm you down. I understand that you don’t want your personal business to be common knowledge.”

He let out a sigh of relief and gave his professor a small smile and responded, “Thank you Professor McGonagall I better be off to lunch now.” He left the room and headed down to the great hall for lunch. As he walked down the halls, he thought about what he had read earlier. As his mind wandered around his sexuality, he thought about how he would tell Ron and Hermionie about it. 

He made it to lunch and sat down next to Hermionie, which meant next to Draco too. He piled his plate full and started stuffing his face. He slowed down to talk to his friends, and before he knew it lunch was over.

As they walked down to Care of Magical Creatures, they chatted about what they would be learning about today. They reached Hagrid’s hut and saw a flying scorpion-like thing in a cage outside the hut. 

They stood in front of the cage and stared at the creature. It was about a meter long and looked like a scorpion, but with bird wings, and feet. The blue eyes were staring at them, and the stinger was a pinkish color. 

Hagrid walked up behind them and said, “It’s called a Golopocus Larialahs. They fly in groups, like geese. I was lucky ter get this one by itself so I could get em in the cage. Their stingers glow red when they are angry.”  
Hermione then spoke up, “I’ve heard of them before. When they are upset, they sometimes fly onto your face and put their stinger in your mouth. They squirt their venom into your mouth, and it tastes like toffee.”

Harry laughed. “That doesn’t sound so bad, toffee is amazing.”

Draco smirked at him and said, “Well, I hope you never encounter one of these creatures, because the venom can kill you in ten seconds.”

“Well done Malfoy, ‘ermione. Five points each.” 

Draco smirked, and Hermionie beamed. The rest of the lesson droned on, and since it was a double period, the class was over and they were done for the day. 

They all walked back to the common room and sat in front of the fire to chat. They all eventually decided to play a game. They decided against Never Have I Ever, because they didn’t want to get drunk. Eventually, they decided to play Truth or dare. 

They all sat in a circle, and Dean started. “Umm… Hermonie. Truth or dare?” 

She rolled her eyes, “Truth.”

Dean smirked and said, “Well, how about… when was the last time you slept with Ron?”

Hermione glanced at Ron before saying quietly, “Over a month ago.”

She seemed lost in thought for a moment before shaking herself out of it and saying, “Pansy, Truth or Dare?”

Pansy laughed, “Dare.” 

Hermione gave a ruthless look and said, “I dare you to kiss someone in this circle who you like, other than Luna.” 

Pansy raised her eyebrows and said, “You probably want to take that back.” 

Hermione laughed and said, “What are you gonna do? Curse me? My dare still stands.” 

Pansy shook her head, stood up, and walked across the circle. She stood in front of Hermionie and whispered, “No, not curse you. Kiss you,” before leaning in and giving her a quick peck on the lips. She stood back up, and after looking at Hermione for a moment, cheeks blazing red, turned, and walked back to where she had been sitting before.

Pansy smirked, looking at Draco “Draco, truth or dare.”

Draco gave an exasperated look, “Oh no. You have way too much information about me either way. Umm… Truth, I guess. I’m pretty sure I know what you are going to say, and this will be less harmful.” 

She laughed and said, “You’re right. Since no one else knows what it is, I'll even say it out loud. Who do you have a crush on?” 

Draco blushed a bright pink which made him, in Harry’s mind, pretty adorable, and mumbled, “I knew it. If everybody else must know, it’s Harry.” 

Wait. Draco had a crush on… him? He froze, his mind trying to catch up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, two things:   
> 1, Thanks to my beta, Liiizzaabeth_Rose  
> 2, The Golopocus Larialahs. My friend came up with this, and it was too funny not to add.  
> Thank you for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to post. I’m still working on the next chapter, so it might be awhile. Thank you Liiizzaabeth_Rose for beta-ing.

So. Draco had a crush on him. His mind caught back up, and he locked eyes with Draco. He noticed that Draco wasn’t saying anything and was just staring and Harry gestured for Draco to follow him and walked out of the room. He headed to his room and waited for Draco to enter.

Draco knocked and tentatively walked in. As soon as he was across the threshold, he shut the door and threw up a wandless silencing charm. 

An uncomfortable silence hung over them until Draco looked into Harry’s eyes and stated, “I’m sorry. Please don’t let this get in the way-” Harry didn’t let him finished and crashed his lips against the blonde’s.

Lips moved synchronously against each other as Harry gently cradled Draco’s pale, aristocratic face with his rough, tan hands and it wasn’t anything like it was when he had kissed Cho or even Ginny. There was a distinct rush of adrenaline like you would get on a roller coaster. He gently pulled away, but only because he needed to breathe. He looked at Draco, and said, “I’m sorry. I should have asked first, but… I have a crush on you too.”

Draco smiled, but before he could talk, someone banged on the door. Harry rolled his eyes before taking a deep breath, taking a step away from the door, and yelling, “Come in!”

Hermionie slowly opened the door and squealed. “Oh, I knew it! I’m so happy for you Harry!” 

A blush crept up his neck up till his face and Harry rubbed the back of his neck with a hand and asked, “How did you know?” 

Hermione laughed and said, “You watch him all the time, you partner with him as often as you can, and you always try to sit next to him during meals.”

He laughed. “Oh. Yeah, I wasn’t really subtle about it was I? I was gonna come out to you and Ron tomorrow, but… I think I’m bisexual.”

Hermione smiled softly and said, “Do you want to tell Ron or do you want me to?”

Harry smiled and responded, “I’ll tell him later, but it would be great if you could tell him that I want to talk to him later, but that I would like a minute alone right now. And… thank you for accepting me.”

Hermione smiled and said, “No problem. Also, everybody went back to their rooms to get ready for dinner,” before walking out of the room. Harry turned and smiled at Draco and just stared in wonder for a moment before walking over to him and kissing again. It wasn’t like before, it was soft and sweet, unlike the desperation and desire in the kiss before.

As they pulled away from each other, he took a deep breath before saying, “Will you go out with me, Draco?” His heart warmed at the smile that spread across Draco’s face when he responded with a quiet yes. 

Harry hugged him tight and they just stood there for a moment. He reluctantly pulled away and said, “I better go talk to Ron. He is more observant than he seems, and he will catch us before dinner is over. I’ll meet you in the common room when I’m done?” The blonde smiled and nodded.

They both left the room and Harry walked across the hall. He knocked on Ron’s door and when he heard a quiet ‘come in’ he took a deep breath before entering the room. He walked in and found Ron sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.

“Hey, are you alright?” Harry asked with concern, sitting next to his best friend.

The redhead sighed and looked at Harry, his eyes slightly red and puffy. The redhead opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water before saying, “I don’t know. I think me and Hermionie are breaking up, but I’m not sure. When you walked in on us arguing this morning, she had come in to tell me that maybe we should take a break.” Harry immediately pulled him into a hug and whispered that everything will be ok. 

“Thanks, mate, I hope that me and ‘moinie will work it out. Anyway, what did you want to tell me?”

Harry took a deep breath and just blurted it out. “I’m bi. It means I like both boys and girls.” 

Ron laughed and said, “You seem so worried about it. There are more people than you think who are bi. Myself included, though I do lean towards girls.”

Harry was very surprised. He hadn’t expected that. He supposed he should tell Ron about Draco too… He took a deep breath before slowly saying, “I have a crush on Draco. We are now dating.” 

Ron stood up. “Draco Malfoy?! The ex-death eater? What on earth? Are you out of your mind?”

Harry couldn’t help but feel hurt. “You know he’s changed! He said sorry to Hermionie, he said sorry to you!” 

Ron growled, saying, “Do you really believe that? Mate, he’s Malfoy, he isn’t going to change!” Ron turned his back and ran his hands through his signature red hair as took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm.

“Ron, please give him a chance. I think the last thing he needs is more people doubting him, or someone going at him.”

Ron rolled his eyes saying, “One month. If I find out he hurt you though…” 

Harry nodded and with this, Harry walked out of the room with a tense “Bye.”

He reached the common room and found Draco. They walked down to the Great hall and sat down on the bench together. Pansy and Luna sat down across from them, before Pansy squealed and said, “I knew it! Welcome to the gay fam Harry!” 

He laughed, “First, I’m bi, and second, how did you know?” 

She rolled her eyes and said, “It’s obvious. Other than the look Draco here sent me, your body language. You are sitting closer to him than you ever have before, and you walked in giggling and whispering in each other's ears.”

“Ok, I guess you are right. Draco, we should try to not be as obvious.” 

The blonde snorted with laughter, saying, “Why on earth would I do that? I want everyone to know we are together. Unless… you don’t want that?”

Harry quickly responded, “Oh, no. I just kinda figured that you wouldn’t want everybody to know our business. I’m kinda used to it, being Harry Potter and all. It’s kinda annoying.”

Draco brought his gray eyes to meet the emerald ones before saying, “I don’t mind. I want everyone to know that you’re off the market. But… we should talk about this more later.” The blonde smiled and went back to eating, chatting with his friends and Harry knows, that nothing could go wrong with Draco by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never have I ever, then a visit with Gregor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry these keep taking so long to post. My new goal is to post once a week, and mire often when I can.

It was Friday evening, and they were getting ready to play Never have I Ever. Everyone sat in a big semi-circle in front of the fire. The couples were all sitting next to each other, and everyone else filled in the gaps. There were a couple of bottles of fire whiskey scattered around the circle.

Pansy was the first to go. “Never have I ever done it with a guy.” Harry’s glass stayed full, but most of the girls took shots, but Luna, Draco, Dean, Seamus, Neville, Theo, and of course Blaise took shots. 

Draco was up next, saying, “Never have I ever done it with a girl.” Dean cringed and took a shot, along with Pansy, Luna, Ron, and Blaise. Harry did not take a shot. 

Draco leaned over and whispered in his ear, “So you’re a virgin?” Harry blushed and gave a quick nod in response. The blonde slipped his hand into the brunette with a soft smile. He gazed up at the blonde and felt his heart swelled with love. He still couldn’t believe that Draco liked him too. He gently cradled his boyfriend’s face and gave him a small, sweet peck on the lips.

Ron was the next to go. “Never have I ever kissed a guy.” Everyone took a shot except for Luna.

Luna went next, saying, “Never have I ever played seven minutes in heaven.” All the Slytherins took a shot, but no one else did.

Pansy let out a squeal, and said, “We need to play that sometime… Maybe if there is a time when fewer of us are couples…”

Draco laughed before saying, “I don’t know, I think something would happen that no one would like, especially if there were any couples, and I don’t really feel like giving Harry up. Anyway, never have I ever… broken into a bank.” The golden trio took a shot, their expressions guilty and chastised, along with Pansy and Theo, who both shot Draco a betrayed look. 

“Salazar’s snakes! The perfect golden trio broke into a bank,” Draco laughed. Harry laughed, responding, “And rode a dragon out. That was quite a day. And I doubt your aunt was very happy about it. At least it helped the Order during the war.”

There were several moments of uncomfortable silence before Ron broke it. “Never have I ever pinned someone down.” Draco, Luna, Neville, Dean, and Seamus all took shots, and everybody but Pansy looked at Luna with surprise. Pansy just smirked.   
Draco’s eyes widened in surprise. “Since when are you a bottom?! There is no way! I’ve known you for longer than I can remember, and I always thought you would be a top!” 

Pansy laughed and said, “Sometimes I just need a break from being bossy and uptight. It’s nice to let go.” Draco just shook his head and said, “Moving on, how about you go Hermionie? You don’t participate enough in these.”

Hermione sighed and responded, “Oh well, I suppose I will. Never have I ever been pinned down.” Draco, Pansy, Ron, Dean, Seamus, and Theo took their shots. Seeing as the last question was pretty much the opposite of this, no one was too surprised. 

Neville went next. “Never have I ever had a panic attack.” Almost everyone took shots at this. The only one who hadn’t taken a shot, other than Neville, was Theo. No one was surprised by this, the war was tough on everybody and no one survived a war without trauma. 

\---

That weekend, Harry whooshed through the floo and ended up in Gregor’s new office for his therapy session.

After the war, most wizarding buildings were pretty damaged, and most people just moved into different buildings. The room was set up about the same, but it was a little bigger, and somehow felt cozier in Harry’s opinion anyway. 

Gregor spun around in his chair and said, “Hullo, Harry. How’s it going?”

Harry sighed, gave a tired smile, and said, “Pretty well, but there have been a couple more panic attacks than usual. Give me a sec to clear my head and organize my thoughts and I’ll start from the beginning.” 

“Of course.”

Harry sat down on one of the more comfortable chairs as he started to make sense of his emotions and thoughts, sorting them out and trying to make heads or tails on any of them.

After a moment Harry started to speak, “It started ok I guess. We have our own table and common room. It is going pretty smoothly, and it was really nice to get to know the Slytherins, and not be expected to fight with them.” He took a deep breath and finished with a smile, “Draco has changed a lot. He-he’s actually very sweet… I’m bi, and we are dating.” 

He looked up from his feet to see Gregor’s reaction. Gregor didn’t look surprised but had a look that he couldn’t quite recognize. Gregor said slowly, “And what do Ron and Hermionie think of this?” Harry became silent and got lost in thought for a moment.  
“Hermionie, when I first told her, said she was excited. Ron… I guess I’m not really sure. He’s fine with me being bi but doesn't really like the idea of me being with Draco. I wish he would understand just how much he’s changed.” 

Gregor gave a sympathetic look. “I know that it’s hard, but you do have to remember his brother was killed in the war. Give Ron a while, I think he will come around.” 

Harry sighed. “I know, but… I want him to see that people change. I do think he knows that even if he doesn't realize it and I think he and Hermoine are going to split up very soon. ”

They chatted for a while longer, but not really about anything important. Gregor ended the appointment by saying, “Remember to take time for yourself. You don’t need to get burned out.” 

Harry smiled and nodded before whooshing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this! Thank you as alway to Liiizzaabeth_Rose for betaing.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has a chat.

He finished his dinner and grabbed Draco by the arm and pulled him out of the Great Hall, towards his own room. On the way, Draco asked, “What on earth is so important you are literally dragging me away from my friends?” 

Harry laughed and said, “Just wait, you’ll see.” He dragged Draco through the portrait, and towards his room, sitting on his bed.

They sat down next to each other, and Draco pulled Harry closer. They looked into each other's eyes, silver looking into his green ones. The silence wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, but Harry broke it and said, “We said we should talk a little about how we wanna take this relationship. Let’s start now. How public do we want this to be?” 

He heard the blonde sigh before his boyfriend said, “I don’t know. In the past, I’ve always kept it pretty private, considering you-know-who and my father. I’m willing to do whatever you want, I guess.”

Harry chewed on his lip before saying, “I guess for now we can try to keep it at Hogwarts. I don’t think it would be good if the Prophet found out that I was in a gay relationship. I personally don't care, but I’ve also had that amount of publicity for years.” 

He felt kind of bad for adding, “and I don’t want people to start throwing curses as you because you’re gay either,” but it was true, and a realistic possibility.  
Draco laughed sarcastically and said, “You don’t even know. I’ve already had more curses thrown than you could believe. Luckily I’m pretty good at shield charms and they won’t do it in front of other people.”

Harry was furious. They had no right, the war was over, and Draco had changed, he was a completely different person. All he said though, was a quiet, “Who?” 

Draco gave an exasperated look saying, “I’m not going to tell you, for two reasons. One, I deserve it. I killed people in the war. Two, you don’t need to scare the Gryffindor out of first years. The war was already enough trauma for everyone, let alone eleven-year-olds.”

Harry sighed. “I am still going to talk to McGonnagal in the morning. She can make an announcement to the whole school, and we don’t have to embarrass one specific kid. Anyways…” He trailed off, unsure how to put his next words. After a few moments, Draco said, “Hey, it’s alright to not talk about it all now. After all, this is the first week we’ve been together.”

Harry smiled again and said, “Thank you, but…” He sighed. “I don’t know. I know we should talk about this, but I don’t know if I want to or if I’m ready to. For now, let’s just hang out, and we can talk about it some other time.” 

The blonde smiled and responded, “Ok. What do you wanna do?” 

He chuckled and said, “Well, I don’t really want to do this, but I have a lot of homework I need to get done. Do you wanna help?” 

Draco rolled his eyes fondly before saying, “Why not? Since we’re in your room already.”

Harry smiled and pulled out his books.  
-Wednesday-  
He was eating breakfast, sitting next to Draco. He said quietly to him, “I need to do something. I’ll meet you in class?” The blonde nodded and he stood before walking to the other end of the table and grabbing Ron’s attention and signaling him to follow Harry. He walked out the door and let go of Ron, and kept walking. He listened to the footsteps, so he knew that Ron was still following him. 

He reached the ROR and he paced in front of the wall three times, and a big, wooden dor appeared. Harry then opened it and waited for Ron to get inside and closed the door shut. He sighed and turned. “When are you going to be ok with Draco?” He saw Ron physically droop a little. 

“I don’t know. I-I think it’s going to be awhile. I know that he’s changed, and I’m trying, but… I’m not sure that I’ll ever be completely ok with him. I am really trying.”

Harry gave his best friend a small smile and said, “I get it. He did do some pretty bad things during the war, but I think he was doing his best.” He paused and looked around for a moment before saying, “We better get to class.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Thank you to my beta, Liiizzaabeth_Rose!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry meets a first year that Draco then takes a liking to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How you enjoy!

They were sitting in the hallway not far from the Room of Requirement talking about everything and nothing. The other grade years had more classes than them so it was pretty quiet. Harry leaned his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. They sat there for a while longer before a first-year Hufflepuff student walked past them. The first-year stopped in from t of them, drew their wand and a spell flew at Draco as the first-year yelled “You deserve that you Death-Eater murderer!”. Harry quickly cast a protego and a shield erupted from his wand, protecting him and his boyfriend. The Hufflepuff cowered and quickly scampered away. Harry stood up but was stopped by Draco. “Don’t bother love, It was just a stinging jinx and not a very good one, besides, it didn’t hit me and I’ve dealt with much, much worse hexes and curses thrown my way,” Draco said with what looks like a reassuring grin, albeit a forced one. Harry rolled his eyes scoffed, shrugging Draco’s hands off, and chased the first year.

“Why did you hex him? he asked barely reigning in his anger. He hadn’t noticed that Draco had cased him and was right behind him until he put his arms around him and whispered in his ear. “Hey, calm down. It’s ok, he’s a first-year, it was barely a tickle, side’s don’t have I you to protect me?”

Harry closed his eyes and said, “That does not excuse him.”

The Hufflepuff meekly said, “I’m sorry.” Hie cast his eyes on the ground with tears welling in them. Harry breathed in deeply and said, “I understand that you think that Draco is a murderer, but you need to get to know people before you go hexing them. Would you have hexed him if he was anybody else?”

The kid shook his head, still cowering away from Harry. Draco moved away from his boyfriend, and towards the first year. At first, the child cowered from him, but Draco bent down and laughed, “I’m not gonna hurt you. I just wanted to show you, I’m not mean, or cold at all. I… I never actually killed anyone in the war.”

The first-year froze and said quietly, “You didn’t?” 

The blonde smiled and shook his head. Harry spoke up, “We all need to learn to forgive others and not judge them before getting to know them. The last time I saw him before the war really got bad, I used a spell that I read from some book and nearly killed him. If it wasn’t for our old potions professor, Draco might have died right there and then.”  
Draco froze for a moment before shaking it off and saying, “How about this? You can spend the rest of the day with us, we can teach you how to cast a proper stinging hex, and if by the time you head off to bed you still think I deserve that hex, you can totally send it my way as hard as you can. Sounds good?”

The shy looking kid nodded and offered a small smile. The boys all stood up and Harry said, “If we are going to practice stinging hexes, we should probably go into the Come and Go Room.” Draco said, “Before that, what is your name? My name is Draco Malfoy, and this is the famous Harry Potter.”

The boy paused for a second before saying, “I’m Sam. And first, Harry Potter is gay? Second, I hexed his boyfriend? Third, what is the Come and Go Room?”

Harry laughed. “The Come and Go Room is another name for the Room of Requirement, and it’s probably the most useful thing in the castle. I mean, it was the hideout of most of the members of Dumbledore’s army and other rebels.”

Draco spoke up to answer the boy’s first questions. “Harry isn’t gay, he’s bi, which means he likes both genders. And yes, you hexed me, but it was pretty lousy, no offense.”

Sam blushed and said, “It’s not like I can practice a hex on anyone, and I’m only a first-year.”

“Well then, why don’t we fix that? Draco, you do the honors.” Draco stood up from his kneeling position and walked away, down the corridor, before coming towards them again. He did this a couple more times before the door revealed itself. 

Sam watched in wonder and Harry said, “Come on, let’s see what he conjured up.” Harry led the way followed by Sam then Draco. The older boys glanced at each other, speaking silently before Harry threw up a quick wandless silencing charm. 

The Hufflepuff’s jaw dropped and he said, “You can do wandless magic?”

Harry smiled sadly, and replied, “I’m working on it. I’ve mastered most easy things, but I can’t do something like a Patronus. For that I need my wand, but it just doesn’t feel right. My wand broke during the war, and even though I got a new one, it really isn’t the same.”

“Well, if you are going to teach that hex, love, you'll need your wand out,” Draco laughed. Harry rolled his eyes and pulled his wand out of his holster ad shot a discrete tripping jinx making Draco trip and glare at Harry who smirked and shrugged his shoulders innocently.

Sam giggled and pulled his wand from his bag, which he had sat on the floor. “You know you should always keep your wand on you. You never know when one of your enemies is going to throw a hex at you, and you wanna be able to grab it easily, best if you get a holster like me and have your wand on your body at all times,”

Draco smiled sadly, grabbed Harry’s hand, and said, “Harry, the war is over. Hopefully, no one will ever have to think that way again.” in a soft voice.

Harry sighed retracted his wand, nodding his head “Yeah hopefully,”

“How can you do wandless spelled? Isn’t that hard to do?” Sam asked in an excited voice.

Draco smiled said, “Wandless magic isn’t as hard as it seems when you start. A wand, like a broom, is just a way to channel your magic, rather than magic itself. It does take some practice and training, but I bet that if you really put your mind to it, you could do some simple spells wandless this year.”

Sam responded, “Now I don’t wanna do a hex, I wanna do a wandless hex!” The older boys laughed and Harry said, “Well, I’m sure that you could do that, but before you can do it without the wand, you need to be able to do it with the wand. Sam nodded and said, “Carry on with the lesson then.”

They practiced for an hour before it was time for dinner and the trio went to the Great Hall. Sam went to sit at the Hufflepuff table, and the older boys went to sit at the eighth year table. When they sat down, they were bombarded with questions about who 1the kid was, and why they were hanging out with him. Both Pansy and Hermionie said, “Who is that first-year Hufflepuff kid? And why are you hanging out with him?”

The gray eyes met green ones in silent communication before Harry said, “His name is Sam. We were talking, sitting in one of the halls, and he walked by and tried to hexed Draco. According to Draco, it was lousy. We were teaching him to do a better one after Draco made a deal with Sam. We would teach him stinging hexes, and if by the end of the day, he still thought he deserved it, he could send one as hard as he could at Draco.”

Ron said, “Well, that's one way to solve the problem.” Harry shrugged and Draco said, “Harry might have been yelling and scaring him, and it was the first thing that popped into my mind. When I’m in a tight situation, whatever pops into my head first happens.” 

Pansy said, “Wait, I wanna see it when he hexs you, can we come with you after dinner?” Harry laughed as Draco glared at Pansy.

Everybody finished dinner, and most of them headed to the Room of Requirement. Sam was already there and looked a little intimidated by the number of people present. “Why did you bring all your friends to watch me fail?”   
Everyone laughed and Hermionie said, “We chose to come, and with someone other than them you might not fail. Plus we wanna see you hex Draco. We know if we did it to him, he would fire back, but he wouldn’t hurt you.”

Sam looked skeptical, and he said, “Well, I think that he would hex me back. Or at least give me the silent treatment.” All the purebloods looked puzzled, and those who grew up with muggles laughed. 

Pansy asked, “What in Merlin’s beard is the silent treatment?” Luna laughed at her girlfriend and said, “It’s when a person doesn't talk to or ignores someone else because they are or annoyed at that person.”

Draco laughed, saying, “Oh, well I have definitely done that before. I suppose ‘Silent treatment’ is the muggle name for it.” 

Harry rolled his eyes and smiled. Hermionie said, “Well Sam If you are going to hex Draco here, you need to practice. I’m also pretty sure I was the one to teach Harry stinging hexes, so I might be able to help more.”

Sam rolled his eyes before raising his wand and firing at the dummy at the other side of the room. He hit it square on, and Hermionie looked impressed. “Well, that looked pretty strong, I doubt you will need much help.” Sam smiled shyly and lowered his wand. “I guess Harry and Draco did pretty well then.”

Everyone stayed for a while longer and after an hour or so, Sam left. After that, all the teens hung out for a little longer before everybody but Draco and Harry left. The two sat down on the floor in silence for a couple of minutes before the room decided that they needed a couch to sit on. It appeared across the room from them. Harry grabbed the blonde’s hand and dragged him up and over to the couch. The two sat down, Draco sitting on Harry’s lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Thank you to my beta Liiizzaabeth_Rose! I had a bit of trouble with this chapter, so I’m sure there was more to fix than usual.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ✨Drama✨

The two soon headed back to the common room. When the couple got there, they found an eerily quiet common room with Hermionie standing in the middle of the room on the verge of tears. Harry walked over to her, letting go of Draco’s hand. “Hey, what’s up? What happened?” She just shook her head and whispered, “Ron,” before running off.  
He just stood there, his heart heavy, like a stone in his chest. He then felt arms wrap around his waist as he was suddenly assaulted by Draco’s comforting scent. Harry clung to his boyfriend for comfort and took a deep, shaky breath and whispered, “I think they broke up. ‘Moinie probably went to her room; she will probably be ok. I’m guessing Ron is in my room, not his, which is right next to Hermionie’s. You probably shouldn’t come, “ He said regretfully, looking up at Draco.

He paused for a moment, then said, “Go see how Hermionie is doing. She will be in her room. I’ll be in mine.” Harry kissed the blonde’s lips with a sad smile. The blonde smiled back, kissed Harry on the lips before dashing off to Hermoinie’s room. Harry got to his room and saw Ron sitting at his desk, back facing him. He closed the door behind him and then threw up a quick silencing charm before saying a quiet, “Hey.” Without turning around or giving any other sign that he had heard him, Ron gave a soft “Hi.” in response.

Harry sat down on his bed. “What happened?” He asked.

Ron dropped his head onto the table, and Harry could see that Ron’s shoulders kept on shuddering with soft, barely suppressed sobs, leaving his distraught mate’s lips. A few beats passed before Ron spoke again, his voice quiet and raspy, face still hidden as he tried to hide how much this affected him. “I broke up with her. I… I don’t think it would’ve worked out. I need a simpler relationship, and she needs more than I can give her.” 

Harry looked at him sadly, “I am going to talk to her. She is distraught. I’ll be back later, but first, is there anything I can do for you?” 

Ron paused before saying, “Not right now. If you don’t mind, I’m just gonna stay here a while.” Ron lifted his head and smiled sadly at Harry. It hurt him to see his two best friends so distraught, but this was their problem, and he can’t do anything but silently give them support.

He nodded and left with only a quick glance at his best mate. He slowly walked across the hall to Hermionie’s room. He knocked, and the door swung open. He found the two sitting on Hermonie’s bed, Draco, with his arms around Hermione, looking slightly uncomfortable. Harry almost laughed at the relief on the blonde’s face when he walked into the room, but held himself back. He walked over to the two and took over for Draco. 

He felt Hermionie bury her head in his shoulder before she completely broke down. He glanced at the gray eyes across the room, and saw the sympathy in them. He whispered in the girl’s ear, “Hey, it’ll be alright. It isn’t that he doesn't care about you; I just talked to Ron, and he thinks he isn’t enough for you. It’s not your fault, alright? ” Hermione hugged him tighter, before letting out a big sigh. She slowly released him from her death grip and walked over to her bed. 

She sat down with a sigh. “He’s right. I wanted something more interesting in the bedroom, but he isn’t up for that.” Harry glanced at Draco for support; the blonde spoke up, “I get it. I- I left one of my partners because of similar reasons.” 

Harry silently thanked his boyfriend then spoke up, “What can I do to cheer you up again?” Hermione sighed again. “I don’t know. I wonder if he even still wants to be friends.” 

The boys glanced at each other. Harry suggested quietly, “Why don’t you go talk to him. Even if you don’t want to stay with him, it might be good to wrap things up so you might be able to still be friends.” Hermione nodded. Draco said quietly, “He’s in Harry’s room.” She nodded and quickly walked out the door. 

The blonde and the brunette headed to the common room together. Harry was the first to speak after they sat down on the sofa by the fireplace. “I hope everything between them turns out alright.”

Draco glanced over at his boyfriend before responding, “I think they will still be friends, they have too much history, and you Gryffindor lot are very sentimental people; I doubt they’ll throw away 8 years of friendship over a failed relationship. But I don’t think they will get back together. One, I think they are both right, Hermionie wants something more in the bedroom, and Ron isn’t the right one to give it to her. Two, I know that someone else in our year that fancies her, and I think he is going to make his very move soon once he caught wind that Hermonie is now available.”

Harry was surprised; whoever it was must be pretty good at hiding it or didn’t spend much time with them. He glanced around the room, trying to figure out who it was, and Draco noticed. “He’s not in here,” he laughed.

Harry looked at the blonde with puppy-dog eyes. “Please tell me?” Draco rolled his eyes. “Those beautiful emerald eyes of yours are tempting, but I’m not going to tell you.” It was Harry’s turn to roll his eyes. “If he gave me permission, I would, but that's his business.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. Thank you to my beta, Liiizzaabeth_Rose. Sorry I didn’t update in a while, I’ve had a kinda crazy life right now.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry and Draco get up to some... things, and it turns into a conversation that they really needed to have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes sexual content. If that’s not what you came for, skip the first 11 paragraphs. (I know that it is most of the chapter, but some important stuff happens after) Thank you to Liiizzaabeth_Rose for betaing.

Harry reached over to his boyfriend for a kiss. The kiss turned into multiple, and soon Harry was sliding onto Draco’s lap. As they paused for a moment to catch their breath, Theo walked by, glancing at their red lips, laughed, “Get a room.” 

Harry whispered so only his boyfriend could hear, “Why don’t we go to your room?” The blonde gave a small nod before pushing Harry off his lap.   
Draco dragged Harry into his room, locked the door, and pushed his gorgeous, hot boyfriend against it. Harry’s mouth was on Draco’s. When he pulled back to catch his breath the blonde asked, “How- how far do you want to go?”

Draco slowly let his boyfriend down, keeping his eyes locked with Harry’s. “I don’t know. I’ve never done this before, and you are the first guy I kissed.” Harry looked away, embarrassed; his eyes widened slightly when he felt Draco’s hand softly grip his chin and forced him to look at Draco’s face once again. He saw beautiful silver-blue eyes looking into his green ones.

“Why don’t we take it slow. We can stop whenever, and we will take it as far as you want it to go. Do you want to top, or do you prefer to bottom?” Draco said with a soft smile on his face. Harry smiled and blushed harder; he rarely ever seen this side of Draco. He grabbed Draco’s wrist and moved it so that it was cupping his cheek instead of holding his chin, and he leaned into the touch, kissing the insides of Draco’s palm, and sighed. 

“I… I’m not sure. Turns out, during a war, you don’t have a lot of time to experiment.” Harry said with a cheeky smile.

Draco laughed softly, smiled, and replied, “Well, you’re lucky your boyfriend is a switch then.” The blonde grabbed his hand and led him over to the bed. Harry laid down, uncertain and nervous. Draco picked up on his boyfriend’s nervousness and said, “Relax. I’m not gonna hurt you.” Harry nodded and leaned up to the blonde, who had draped himself over Harry for a kiss and was indulged. 

Their lips moved together, Harry’s hands around the blonde's waist with Draco’s hand beside the brunette's head, and Harry’s hands wrapped around Draco’s neck. Harry then slowly started to relax. Draco moved his kisses down to Harry’s neck, who held back a moan. He waved his hand, with barely enough focus to get the silencing charm up. 

Draco slowly pulled Harry into a sitting position and unbuttoned the brunette’s robe, letting it fall off Harry’s shoulders and tossing it in a corner. Draco then guided Harry back down to lay on the bed, his mouth left the brunette's neck for a moment while pulling off his own robes. 

Draco redraped himself over Harry and claimed the brunette’s lips once more. Harry’s hand snaked up towards the blonde’s hair, messing it up from its perfectly styled look and tugging at it gently. The man above him moaned, loving the gentle tug at his scalp. The blonde ground his hips down, seeking friction against his rapidly hardening cock. Both moaned as their clothed dicks pressed against each other. 

Draco’s hands made their way down to the buttons on the other’s shirt. He pulled back, looking at Harry’s closed eyes below him. Harry opened his eyes, giving a small nod, yes, Draco could take his shirt off. The blonde slowly started unbuttoning them, moving his mouth to the other’s neck. Draco finally got all the buttons undone, and tried to slide the shirt off, but was obstructed by the bed.

Harry took a deep breath and rolled them over, so he was on top. The teen who was now on the bottom looked surprised but undisturbed. Harry took over, doing what the blonde had been doing before. He slowly started unbuttoning the blonde’s shirt, stealing Draco’s lips for a kiss. When he reached the last button, he sat up to pull the cloth off his shoulders. His eyes caught the scars on the pale chest beneath him.

He froze, his mind racing. “I- I’m so, so sorry.”

The blonde gave a sad smile. “Just a couple of the many we all got during the war. I..” He drifted off lost in thought. He bit his lip, thinking hard. Draco sat up and said, “I think we need to talk for a minute.” Harry nodded before moving off the blonde’s legs, lying down in the bed, patting on the space next to him with a soft smile. Draco smiled and crawled next to Harry.

The two layed next to each other, Harry snuggling up against Draco’s side. Draco was the first to speak. “I have a lot of scars. The dark mark… is something else too. I’m guessing you have just as many.” Harry nodded, waiting for the blonde to finish. “I… I think we should show each other all our scars before we do anything more, so there are no surprises.” Harry nodded and sat up and finished shrugging the shirt off his shoulders. 

“Most of these are just from scratches compared to others, but the words on the back of my hand were Umbridge’s doing. This big one on my chest was from a locket that turned out to be a Horcrux. Then there is the one on my forehead, everybody knows the story of that one, I- I don’t really have any other major ones, but I do have a lot more.” Harry shifted, hiding the scars on his hand.

Draco slowly sat up and pulled off the shirt, folding it up neatly to organize his thoughts. “The ones on this hand were from the fire, in the room of requirement. There are the ones all over my chest from that night in the bathroom. There are some self-inflicted ones on my arms, then… there are the ones on my back.” Draco then turned around, talking over his shoulder. “These… were from my father’s belt.”

He turned around to face his boyfriend, scared of what he would see in his beautiful emerald eyes. All he saw was love and understanding. “Harry, I don’t blame you for that day in the bathroom. I was an arse to you. I…” He trailed off, wanting to say more but not wanting to ruin the moment. Harry responded, “We need to talk about our childhoods. If we talk around them or ignored what happened to us like it never happened, but it did. It happened, and we have to come to terms with that and accept it. They shaped us, even if we aren’t those kids anymore.”

Draco sighed and realized that they were avoiding it. His mind was racing with thoughts, but all that would come out of his mouth was, “Ok.” If Harry was brave enough to confront his demons, surely he can too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favorite couple finally actually talk to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I’m sorry I haven’t posted in so long. I am not going to give up, so even if it a couple months, I will finish this. 
> 
> Second, thank you Liiizzabeth_Rose, you have been amazing. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Harry sat down on the large armchair, Draco squeezing in next to him. They had decided that they needed to talk about their past, rather than just avoiding it and working around it. Harry looked down at his lap, nervously fiddling with his fingers, trying to work up the courage. They sat in silence for a moment before Harry started. 

“I grew up with my aunt and uncle Dursley. They lied about everything in my life, told me my parents were unemployed drunks and died in a car accident, and tried to hide the fact that I was a wizard..” He paused, trying to decide what to say next, but just as he was about to continue, Draco interrupted. “I can’t believe that the boy who lived, Harry Potter grew up as a muggle.”

Harry just nodded, wanting to get the rest of the story out. “My cousin was always the star kid. He was a spoiled brat, almost like you used to be. Even if he got a horrible grade, and I got perfect grades, I would get punished. There was no winning for me. He also didn’t treat me very well. He always bullied me, and my aunt and uncle did nothing about it.” 

He paused again, glancing up at his boyfriend, trying to figure out just how much he should say. He tried to read the blonde’s expression, but all he saw was a carefully schooled expression, blank and not giving anything away. 

“Until I got my Hogwarts letter, my room was a broom cupboard. My aunt and uncle would lock me in there for days, not even letting me out to go to the bathroom or for meals. The closet wasn’t even big enough for a bed. There was a mattress squeezed in there, and every morning when Dudley ran down the stairs and dust fell on me, I would bang my head on the ceiling.” 

A magical buzz slowly started filling the Room of Requirement, sending tremors through the furniture. Harry finally lifted his head, trying to find the source of the disturbance. Draco was breathing deeply now, and his eyes were closed. Harry realized what was going on after a moment, it wasn’t the first time it had happened, but it was the first time he saw it happening to someone other than him. 

Draco’s magic swirled around them, he could almost feel it. He grabbed the blonde’s hand, trying to ground him. The table in front of the chair was blown up in splinters, and Harry barely had time to throw up a protego. As soon as it was up, it came down again, all Draco’s magic in the room making it hard to keep his protego up.  
.   
He grabbed the blonde’s shoulder with his other hand, shaking him gently. “There is nothing you can do. I’m safe now and not with them. I with you. Right here, right now. Can’t you feel me, Draco? You don’t have to be mad. They already feel bad.” Slowly, the magic dissipated, leaving the room a mess. The table in front of them was shattered, and the mirror on the wall across from the couch was in shards on the ground.

Harry let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He pulled Draco into a hug, squeezing him tight. “Thank Merlin, I could calm you down. Losing control of your magic is… not good.” He waved his hand, repairing the broken things. Draco was still tensed against his chest but was slowly relaxed in the brunette’s arms, listening to Harry’s calming heartbeats. 

“I… Thank you. I’m sorry I got so upset, but your relatives, if you can even call them that, really didn’t treat you right. I feel even worse for how I treated you before, I didn’t know that much about your living situation. I’m sorry.” 

Harry sighed and gave a small smile, “Yeah, I know. It- it was actually kinda nice. You were the only one who didn’t treat me like the chosen one. The only one to treat me like I was just a teenager. It was kind of a relief.” Harry said with a small laugh.

Draco smirked and said, “Glad I could do that for you. I suppose I should tell you about my childhood.” Draco hesitated, but Harry gave a soft smile and said, “Hey, you can talk to me. You can share how much or how little you’re comfortable with.” Draco nodded, still a little reserved. 

Harry smiled gently and said, “I still have more to tell if you want to listen.” The blonde shook his head in disbelief. “There’s more?” Harry just gave a small nod.

“Let’s see, it was the summer after Voldemort came back, so that would be… The summer before fifth. A pair of dementors came after me, most likely sent by Umbridge to try and silence me. I fought them off after one almost gave my cousin the kiss. I found out that my neighbor was a squib, and she helped us home. Dudley threw up on the step, and even though I saved him, I was locked in my bedroom for days. They thought I was the cause of the happiness being sucked out of everything. The ministry not believing me is a whole other thing, and I'm not going to get into that.”

Harry let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding, but Draco stayed silent, speechless. Harry pressed on, “Dumbledore always knew I had to die. He never told me. I had to find out through Snape’s memories.” Harry spoke quietly, not confident enough to speak louder. Draco was looking away, so only when he looked back at his boyfriend, he saw the tears running down his tanned skin. 

“Oh, darling, don’t cry. It’s all in the past now. Don’t worry about it. They can’t hurt you anymore.” Draco gently wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and tried to soothe him, murmuring sweet nothings into his beloved’s ear. Harry just nodded, but the tears didn’t stop. The blonde wrapped his arms tighter around the brunette, rubbing his back soothingly. “Maybe we should take a break, have some tea, and then I can have a go?” Harry nodded and stood up. Draco followed, taking Harry’s hand, soft and warm. 

Harry smiled, returning the grip on his hand. The two walked out of the ROR and headed to the common room. They walked past the portrait, and Harry settled on one of the couches while Draco grabbed them tea in the kitchens. When he came back, Draco asked, “Do you want to play a game of chess?” Harry smiled and nodded, though he knew it was unlikely that he would win.

“I’ll go get my set.” The blonde kissed Harry’s temple and ran up to his room, grabbing the old expensive wizard's chess set from his trunk. He walked back down the stairs, pausing when he was across the room to just admire his boyfriend. Harry was handsome. His emerald green eyes were the reason he liked green so much, more-so than it being a slytherin color. And his tanned skin reminded Draco of a pool of never-ending caramel, his untamable nest of raven black hair, surprisingly silky and smooth that Darco loves running his fingers through his beloved’s hair until Harry was smiling sleepily and content. That’s not all he liked about him. Draco also loved Harry’s unwavering loyalty and sense of judgment, and the fact that he knew what a horrible childhood he had, yet still has the biggest heart out of everyone Draco knew, made his love and respect for Harry grow.

He smiled and shook his head, trying to shake off the thoughts. He sat down across from his boyfriend and gently took Harry’s hand and kissing it gently.

“I love you, Harry, truly. I hope you know that.” Draco said, his voice overflowing with the affections he held for the brunette.

“I love you too, you big sap. Now, let’s set up the chessboard, yeah?” Harry said lovingly with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

Draco laughed and shook his head and set up the chessboard.


	22. Chapter 22

Draco won the game of chess. It was no surprise, Harry was rubbish at chess. The two decided that they should have dinner and went to the great hall. Harry had almost forgotten that Hermionine and Ron had broken up that day. He sighed and glanced at the blonde. Draco had the Malfoy mask on, not showing anything, as most of the time when they were in public. 

Harry went and sat down next to Hermionie, Draco, right behind him. Draco set his hand on Harry’s leg and said quietly, “Why don’t we postpone any more talking about serious things until tomorrow, and just relax. It’s been a really long day.” Harry gave a small nod, not enough to be obvious to the others.

“Hey, how are you doing, Mionie?” Harry asked the curly-haired witch who was just picking on her plate  
.  
Hermionie sighed and said, “As well as I could be, I suppose.” She glanced at Draco, giving him a skeptical look. The blonde cast his eyes down. Hermionie sighed again and said, “Draco, I think I can trust you. I don’t want to hold grudges from before the war, and I’m doing my best to forget old quarrels.” The blonde looked up, his cheeks tinged pink.

“I- Thank you.There isn’t really a reason for you to trust me, but you do. I don’t deserve that. Or Harry for that matter.”

Harry quickly looked at his boyfriend, saying, “Oh love, you deserve us just as much as I deserve you. You never killed anyone. You saved me that time in the manor, and your mother saved me in the battle of Hogwarts.”

“That doesn't change that I was the one to let Death Eaters in. I was the one to fix the vanishing cabinet.” 

Harry made eye contact with the blonde and said, “One of the things I like about you is that you changed. Not that I like your past, but not everybody can change like that.”

Harry could see the moment that Draco brought his guard up again. The tears that had been welling up in his eyes disappeared, the emotion on his face was hidden. Draco said, “Thank you. It’s tough for me to show my feelings to anyone, and you guys are really supportive.”

Harry smiled and cupped the blonde’s jaw with his hand. “Love, I will always support you. The war was hard on everyone, and the only reason I’m doing well enough to not be jumping off the Astronomy tower is thanks to therapy and Gregor.”

Hermionie said hesitantly, “I don’t want to ruin the moment, but why don’t you guys go back to the dormitory? It sounds like it’s been a really long day for everyone.” Harry nodded and reached out for Draco’s hand. “Let’s go relax.”

Draco smiled and let himself be dragged away.

Harry whooshed through the floo to Gregor’s office. Though he could apparate, he found that it wasn’t the most fun to have to walk out of the Hogwarts wards in the colder months.  
Gregor’s cheery voice broke him out of his thoughts about the dreary weather. “‘Ello, Harry! How are you?”  
“Hello, Gregor. New glasses, I like them.” Harry said with a smile giving his therapist a hug.

“Thank you, I wouldn’t have guessed that you would notice. Well, have a seat.”

Harry sat down in the chair he always had, trying to sort out the mess running through his head as he did at the beginning of every session. There were a lot of things on his mind, Ron and Hermionie’s breakup, Draco’s doubts in himself, his childhood, and his speculations about Draco’s childhood.

Gregor stayed silent, knowing that Harry would start talking when he was ready. After a minute, Harry finally spoke up. “This week has been really busy, and honestly, really tiring. Ron and Hermionie broke up. Draco and I spent some time with a first year who tried to hex Draco. Draco and I started opening up to each other about our childhoods.”

“Wow, it does sound like it has been a really long week. Let’s start by working through what happened between Ron and Hermionie. I’m surprised they didn’t work out. I always thought they’d end up married and have a little family of their own. What happened?”

“Draco and I walked into the common room. Hermionie was on the verge of tears, and everyone was silent.” Harry paused, trying to figure out what to say next. “Ron was in my room, and I talked to him for a minute before I went to talk to Hermionie. Basically, Hermionie wanted more in the bedroom, and Ron wasn’t up for it. He decided that Hermionie was better off without him.”

Gregor nodded thoughtfully and asked, “Your stance on this?” 

Harry sighed. “I’m not really sure. I want the best for both of them, and I’m not sure that breaking up that way was the best.” 

“Ok, so that’s something to think about and possibly to bring up with both of your friends. What else happened this week?” 

“Draco and I started talking about our childhoods. I started, and I told him about the Dursleys. He… he lost control of his magic. He was so angry. We didn’t talk much more before deciding to call it a night.” 

“I think it is hard for you to open up to people. I would guess that you kinda have mixed feelings about his reaction?” 

Harry nodded. “Yeah. I’m kinda nervous to hear about his childhood. I’m not sure why.”

“You don’t want to lose control of your magic. You know that neither of your childhoods were pretty. If I were to guess, you wonder how your relationship is going to work. Both of you have major trauma.”  
Harry didn’t respond, deeming it unnecessary. The room was silent for a minute before Gregor said, “Do you know if he has a mind healer?” Harry shook his head before clarifying, “I don’t know if he has one. As far as I know, no, I’ll bring the subject up to him later.”

Gregor smiled and nodded his head before moving on to less important issues before Harry’s session ended and he flooed back to the castle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed! Thank you LiiizzaaBeth_Rose


End file.
